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CHAPTER 1

I woke up that way, masturbating alone in my bed. The deep dream-induced orgasm had woken me. I turned over onto my stomach and rubbed my mound trying to eke out every last delicious tremor. But when the waves of sensation had passed I sat up and punched the pillow repeatedly. "Well fuck!" Was that the only way I could get some these days? Through dreams?

I wasn't one to dwell, just as I'd proclaimed in my dream, so why was I still haunted by the threesome with Andi and Street. Yes, I was over Street — and Andi I would have pursued in a heartbeat, but she wasn't interested and I was okay with that. There were more chicks in the barnyard, or studs in the pasture, so I knew I should just get right back up on my horse, so to speak, and ride.

Getting out of bed and heading for the bathroom, I snorted at the analogy, my deep southern upbringing rearing its ugly head. It was being brought up on a hardworking farm that had prodded me to apply to schools across the country, trying to escape the small town scene. People I'd met here at the upscale university assumed I was bullshitting when I told them where I was from. I just didn't fit into the mold. Exotic-looking, that's how most people described me. Dark hair and eyes, high cheekbones — I guess I did look more like I was from Latin Miami than Georgia.

My roommate Pam was in the shower. "Just me, Pammy, I gotta piss."

"Go ahead. Just don't flush." We laughed. That was an ongoing joke. We'd done that to each other often enough over the years.

"Hey, Toni, while you were out last night, some guy phoned. He sounded older, ya know, like someone's grandpa or something. It was weird — he asked for Miss Oakes. Said his name was Everett."

Why would Everett call me here?

Everett was my high school boyfriend's father. There would be no reason for him to get in touch with me unless something horrible had happened to Griffin.

"Oh my God!" I finished up as fast as I could then ran for my address book. I flipped through it as cold stark terror roiled through my belly. My concern was for Griffin.

"What the fuck am I doing?" I tossed the book across the room. I didn't need it. Their phone number was permanently etched in my brain. I'd called it enough times.

My hands shook as I dialed the number.

It rang and rang. "Oh, please pick up!" I felt tears of panic prick behind my eyes.

"Yello?"

It wasn't a voice I recognized.

"May I speak to Mr Hollis, please?"

"One sec, doll."

There was a muffled sound like he'd covered the phone with his hand, then a stifled yell.

After a few more unbearable minutes, Everett answered with a clipped, "'Lo?"

"Mr Hollis? It's Toni."

"Toni?"

Shit! "Annie, it's Annie Oakes."

"Antoinette?"

"Yes, sir. My roommate said you called? Is Griff okay?"

"Yeah, Griff's fine. Ya can't kill that boy with a stick."

I closed my eyes and sighed in relief, picturing him in my mind, the day that I'd left, trying so valiantly to hold back tears.

"It's your daddy, honey."

"My dad?" Well, now that brought up other feelings besides alarm and none of them were good. "What's happened?"

"He had a fall, Antoinette. He's pretty bad."

I almost asked, What do you want me to do about it? But I didn't. There were too many emotions running through me at that moment. And I'm sure none of them were what loving daughters would be feeling in this kind of situation. But there was no love lost between me and my old man.

"When?" I asked.

"About a week ago."

A week. And he didn't even call me himself. That said volumes.

"I'm sorry."

"I think you should come home, Antoinette."

"I am about to graduate, Mr Hollis," I tried to explain. "I've worked too hard not to finish." And I certainly wouldn't miss getting my degree for that man.

"Well, Annie, sometimes there are more important things in life than a piece of paper."

"Yes, like children, Mr Hollis, which my father had no use for. At least not for me anyway. I'm sure seeing me would just make him have a setback ..."

"We might lose the farm, Annie," he interrupted. "We could really use your help."

Lose the farm? Now that made me stop and think. There had been an Oakes on that land for over a hundred years.

"I appreciate that you called to let me know, Mr Hollis. Please give Griff my love. Goodbye."

I hung up quickly and swallowed repeatedly. I would not cry over that man. Never. He would die alone. He deserved to.

I went back to my room then flopped on the bed and allowed myself to think back to a time when everyone had called me Annie. Back when my life had been consumed by Griffin — the boy I'd had to leave behind. Give Griff my love, I'd said before I'd hung up. It was true. I still loved him.

I wiped my wet cheek. I'd convinced myself that I had buried that whole part of my life so deep that it could never push back up and hurt me again. But those few moments when I'd been terrified that something had happened to Griff had brought all those feelings rushing back. God, how I'd loved him. Nothing that I'd experienced since could compare to that. Maybe nothing ever would.

And thoughts of Griff always led to Avery. The girl I'd shared a kiss and a little bit more with. I closed my eyes and could still picture Avery and me — our young pale bodies pressed together under the fresh-smelling sheets.

The night had started out like any of our other typical sleepovers. Scary movies in my room, a bowl of popcorn, and generally we fell asleep long before the killer had been revealed. But this night, Avery had snuck a bottle of Jack Daniel's in her knapsack with her pajamas.

I remember when she'd held it up, I'd laughed. "There's barely anything in there."

"It'll be enough to get us giddy."

"As if we need help with that," I'd replied.

She'd twisted off the cap and had a swig then passed it to me. I'd taken a big drink, swallowing quickly, thinking it would go down like water. I had choked and coughed. Avery'd snorted in complete amusement. And when I wouldn't drink any more after that she'd finished it off then had promptly fallen asleep. And somewhere in the dark of night everything had changed and I'm not even sure to this day who initiated it. But we'd shared a night of discovery and exploration that neither of us would ever forget. It awakened something very potent in me.

The following day we'd been unable to keep our hands to ourselves. We'd even asked if we could spend the night together again, but Avery's parents had said she had to go home.

We'd stood outside as Avery had put her backpack on then we'd walked her bike up the driveway, holding hands.

When we'd stopped I'd said, "I don't want you to go."

She'd turned and looked at me. "I don't either. I don't want to be away from you."

I'd tucked her blonde hair behind her ear then stroked my hand down her smooth shoulder.

She'd swallowed and let her bike fall to the gravel then had put her arms around me. "My boobies get hard every time we touch," she'd whispered, holding me close.

I had placed my hand between us and rubbed one, trying to make it better.

"I can feel that all the way down there," she'd breathed.

Avery had pointed to where she meant, on my body. I'd started to tingle again as she'd massaged me through my shorts.

"Do you think you'll touch yourself now? When you're alone?" It was something we'd teased each other about during the night.

"I might, but I'll probably be thinking of you when I do."

So caught up in our own little sensual world, I hadn't considered anything else but the pleasure and the love I felt for her. I didn't consider the consequences of kissing her right there out in the open where anyone could see us. Until my daddy had been there yanking us roughly apart.

"Get your sleazy ass in the house. Now!" he'd yelled at me. "And you, get home!" he'd then ranted at Avery.

I'd seen tears streak down her cheeks as she'd hopped onto her bike.

I didn't cry. At least not then. I wouldn't have given my old man the satisfaction. But my face had felt like it was on fire.

I'd gone to my room and stayed there. My father never brought it up again. But every time I'd called Avery's house, I hadn't been allowed to speak to her. And at school, she'd kept her head down and wouldn't even look at me. I had been hurt. I'd attempted to talk to her but she'd always hustled away, too busy or in a rush.

I'd tried to put it out of my mind. But I hadn't been able to. Not only had I lost my best friend, but I'd wanted that rush and feeling of euphoria that we'd found together.

The next time I'd seen Griffin, I'd all but jumped him and we'd clumsily had sex for the first time in the hayloft. It had hurt and it'd barely taken a few minutes. From that day forward, we'd had sex all over the place. Anywhere we'd been able to be alone — and sometimes even when we hadn't, in my attempt to replicate the ecstasy I'd then craved. We had been caught several times — by my father, Griff's parents, farmhands, school officials and even policemen. We'd been grounded by our folks, suspended from school and warned by the authorities. But it hadn't stopped us. Sex was a very good thing and we had it — a lot. I'm not sure how the administration had determined banning us from school was punishment when it had only given us more time together to fuck and we'd used it wisely.

Griffin had taken Avery's place in every way. He'd been my best friend. I'd told him everything — even about the one forbidden night with Avery. Even when I'd shared Avery's and my experience with Griff, he hadn't reacted the way that I had expected he would.

I had been reluctant at first to tell him at all, afraid that he might react the same way that Avery had and turn his back on me because what we'd done was 'wrong'. What if he'd thought that I was weird because I seemed to like both boys and girls — or angry that I'd cheated on him in a way?

"What's going on with you and Avery? She hasn't been around. Is she pissy because you and I are spending so much time together?" Griff had asked with a bit of a smug grin on his handsome face, maybe a little full of himself because he'd been a very lucky and satisfied teenage boy.

"Nothing." I'd shrugged.

"Come on. Tell me."

"No. I'm afraid to tell you."

"Afraid?" He'd seemed a bit hurt. "Don't you know you can tell me anything?"

"What if you decide something that I did was disgusting?"

He'd chuckled. "What could you have done that was gross? Everything you do is awesome." Grinning, he'd captured my hand and placed it on his. "I know firsthand."

"What if you can't forgive me?"

Griffin had pulled me around and coaxed me into his lap. Facing him, I'd straddled his legs. Slouching down in the chair a bit, he'd maneuvered our bodies so that I'd been essentially sitting on his stiffening cock. He'd looked into my eyes and placed his hands on either side of my head. "There's nothing you could ever do that would make me turn away from you. Unless you cheated. That I couldn't forgive."

"Avery and I did something," I'd admitted.

At that he'd seemed relieved. He'd then run his hands down my arms, finally cupping my bum loosely.

"Before we had sex, you know, the first time?" At his nod, I'd continued, "The night that Avery and I had the sleepover, we kissed."

"Oh?" he'd said in surprise, but I'd felt his cock surge underneath me, which had made my pussy contract in response. "And did you like it?"

"Yes. I like kissing her, as much as I enjoy kissing you. But you don't have to worry about anything. She won't even look at me, let alone speak to me."

"I'm not worried. I know that you love me. And I always knew that you and Avery had a close bond. You two have been friends as far back as we've all known each other. It's not like you're kissing some other guy. Did you two do more than that?"

"Yes." He'd had a fully-fledged hard-on by then.

"Like what?"

I'd shrugged.

"Ya didn't lick each other, did you?" His eyes had shone brightly with interest.

"We didn't lick each other down there." I'd looked down, where my cunt snugged his cock. "But we kissed each other's nipples."

"Oh." He'd attempted to stifle a moan, but he'd tipped his hips, pushing his hard dick more firmly against me. "How was that?" he'd asked, his voice straining.

"It felt really good, to have her do it to me, as well as when I kissed her." My pussy had begun to seep just talking about it. The pressure from Griff's impressive erection had been just what I'd needed.

"Do you think you'd want to lick her, ya know ..." He'd trailed off but had placed his hand between my legs instead of saying the word. I'd tipped my hips and he'd caressed my tingling pussy through my jeans. Unashamed, I'd rubbed my cunt against his hand.

"Yes, I think I would."

"And would you want her to do the same?"

I'd nodded.

"You haven't even let me do that yet."

"You haven't asked or tried just going ahead and doing it," I'd whispered and my pussy had released a hot wet rush. "You know I wouldn't stop you."

After that, Griffin hadn't been able to move fast enough. He'd pushed me off his lap then unfastened my jeans. I'd eased them off my hips along with my panties.

His jaw had tightened, as he'd coaxed my bare ass up onto the nearest table. Gripping my knees, he'd pushed them wide, then knelt between my legs.

His hot breath had swept across my skin and I'd whimpered. I had been so turned on, I'd been certain that at his first touch, I'd come. I had been able to smell my own arousal.

Griff had tentatively licked through my folds, just grazing my clit on the first pass. My stomach had clenched and I'd grabbed the edge of the table holding on.

"Right there?" he'd implored, in no more than a rough whisper.

"Mmmhmm," I'd all but whined.

He'd gone back in, this time licking broadly. Although nowadays that kind of inexperience in a guy would just piss me off, not get me off — then it had been absolute rapture.

Gently, Griff had fluttered his tongue and it hadn't been long before I'd been shuddering and trying to close my knees on him.

He'd stood then. I'd hoped off my perch and pulled up my pants.

"Fuck, girl, you don't give a guy a chance."

I'd looked up at him confused.

Pulling me into his arms, he'd murmured softly in my ear, "Ya made me come too."

The admission had made me smile, like I had some kind of secret power over him.

"Griff? Does it taste good?" I'd wondered, while still in his embrace.

"The best," he'd replied, while running his hands over my back.

"Do you think if Avery and I ever did lick each other, ya know, down below ..."

"Uhh," he'd gasped then pulled me against him again.

"If we did, would you want to watch?"

He'd growled then nipped at my neck. At the same time, his rapidly firming cock had poked me in the hip.

"Oh, fuck yeah!"

The lone thing I'd held back from him was that I was in love with Avery. The weird thing was I'd loved Griffin too. Just as strongly and deeply. But I tried not to think about it.

I don't think Avery and I would have ever spoken again if her grandma hadn't passed away. I remember approaching her in the line at the funeral home. Her pretty face had been all red from crying.

"I'm real sorry about your grammie, Avery," I'd said sincerely. I'd expected her to look away and ignore me. But she'd grabbed my hand and more tears had slipped down her cheeks. I had wiped the wetness from her skin. She'd looked into my eyes and I'd seen that she still loved me. Just the way she had that last day, in the driveway, when we'd kissed.

My father had given me a push in the procession line and I'd been forced to let go. But later, Avery had come and sat beside me. We'd shared a brownie and chit-chatted about nothing important. And after that, she'd talked to me at school and we even did some projects together. But we never had sleepovers or did anything outside of school. And we never mentioned what had happened between us.

Coming out of my reverie, I realized my pillow was wet from my tears. Reminiscing about Griffin and Avery was not a good thing for my already disorderly reflection. I could still picture them the day I left for university. I think they'd both expected that I would change my mind at the last minute and stay. But I hadn't been able to. I'd had to get out from under my father's hatefulness. And I'd had to move on for myself. I'd had hopes and dreams that I knew I would never find in small town nowhere. And Griff and Avery had seemed content to stagnate. Just as much as I'd been determined to get out, they were to remain.

* * *

I was at a crossroads again. I'd thought my upcoming graduation would be thrilling. It's what I'd worked so hard for, all this time, and now that it was just around the corner, I was disheartened and apprehensive instead of overjoyed and excited. I'd been certain this was what I'd wanted. My big plan had always been to get out of Georgia, get my degree, then move to New York. But now I was having misgivings. Where was I going to go from here?

And it wasn't just my future career I was anxious over. The other reason that I was determined to go to a big city was something I already knew deep down. Myménage experience with Street and Andi had absolutely solidified it. But they hadn't wanted anything lasting. A permanent polyamorous relationship — New Yorkers wouldn't even look twice at it. But I knew that to make my life complete, I needed a couple. A perfect man and woman. I'd already had them in Griff and Avery. They were the pairing of my dreams. The best of both worlds.

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Excerpted from "The Best of Both Worlds"
by .
Copyright © 2013 HK Carlton.
Excerpted by permission of Totally Entwined Group Limited.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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