M. Jane Colette writes tragedy for people who like to laugh, comedy for the melancholy, and erotica for women and men who like their fantasies real. She believes rules and hearts were made to be broken; ditto the constraints of genres. The result? “A whole new sub-genre of her own… social realist erotica that’s frenetic and complex and often funny and very well observed.”

Also, smoking hot. Which is still the most important thing in erotica, romance... and, life?

A poster child Gemini, M. Jane Colette is, most of the time, at least two people. Her left-brain persona sold out long ago. She wears severely-cut suits of black, blue and only that shade of green (“No, not that shade—have you seen the colour of my hair and eyes? Please. Let’s coordinate.”) and spends a lot of time in board rooms, offices, and “war rooms” (what a name!) parsing lies. It’s a living.

(But, oh, what a plethora of source material...)

Her right-brain persona longs to be an iconoclast and an artist. When nobody’s looking, she writes poetry.

Tell Me (Harper Collins, 2015) is her left side’s and right side’s first collaboration.

You: “What’s with this talking about yourself in the third person thing?”

Me: “My therapist says it’s a coping-defensive-distancing technique. But it doesn’t do a lot of harm.”

You: “You sure? Cause it’s kind of creepy.”

Me: “Don’t judge me.”

They’re both inordinately fond of parentheses, em-dashes and non-sequiturs.

Left: “It’s how you knock ‘Them’ off-balance, before you move in for the kill.”

Right: “It’s how you defy the grammar-unartists and let language sing.”

They have the same taste in shoes.

Left: “It’s more of a fetish.”

Right: “Definitely a fetish. And not a cheap one. That’s why I let her sell out, by the way.”

They’re overwhelming and exhausting.

You: “I bet.”

Me: “You don’t know the half of it.”

Their second novel, Consequences, is coming Spring 2017.

Left: “What?”

Right: “Who’s writing it?”

Left: “This is something you really should discuss with us in advance.”

Right: “Yeah. Suppose we’re busy? I’ve got things to do, shoes to buy…”

Left: “Mmmm, shoes…”

Don’t worry. They already wrote it.

Right: “Then why isn’t it available on Amazon yet?”

Left: “Delayed gratification, gurrl, you ever heard of that?”

Exhausting. But they give a hell of an interview, don’t you think?

You can visit both sides of M. Jane Colette at mjanecolette.com and whisper into her ear in 140 characters at @mjanecolette.