THIS BOOK!! 🔥🔥🔥 Wow this book- Talk about an EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER, please please please read and TAKE HEED of the ⚠️trigger warnings this book HAS A SUICIDE of a character we get to know IN IT, IS DEEPLY EMOTIONAL & explores dark themes. Please be ready emotionally for this book before reading! ⚠️ 🚨🚨🚨Warning spoilers ahead: This book not only discusses suicide, in Part 1 Parker S. Huntington did a masterful job (in my opinion) of transporting you into the minds of 2 emotionally traumatized teenagers who are in very dark places for their own reasons & ready to commit suicide. They meet on a roof unexpectedly at 11pm on Valentine's night they are both planning to jump, but instead end up saving each other by agreeing to a pact to meet up once a year to check on each other. But Kellan insists they have to keep their friendship a secret bc he is the school pariah while Charlotte is just the scholarship kid. While Charlotte (aka Lottie/Dicks/Venom/Charlie- BTW I love the changing nicknames as things progress in the book) begins to cope with her inner demons trauma & turmoil; Kellan does not, getting into fights, turning to drugs, not fully confiding in her when they exchange notes or at their yearly meet ups. Their feelings for one another grow romantically mostly from afar all while they start to grow apart as far as suicidal ideation. We are given a window into watching Kellan's decline physically & mentally while Charlotte grows increasingly worried. The author does a great job of addressing the conflict that one may feel in the face of that situation- Do you risk the only connection, the only friendship that person has by breaking the rules of the pact by talking to them in person & telling someone you thibk your friend is in trouble, or do you stay quiet but be that friend, that one lifeline hoping youre enough and things will get better? At the end of part 1 I highly recommend a break to recoup emotionally because we certainly switch gears the first chapter of Part 2: We start 4 years later with a bang, pun intended as Tate would say! 😅 this scene is very sexy, Though the SPICY scenes in this book are sparing compared to other dark romances, this is definitely more of a slow burn... Charlotte and Tate were both deeply effected by a Kellan's suicide and are fighting against their growing feelings for each other. Neither thinks their feelings are okay, but learning that the puzzle piece of Kellan's life they each held, what they each knew of Kellan wasn't all there was to know in order to solve the puzzle that was him & what led to his suicide- all while trying to cope with their own traumas in day to day life. There is so much about this book- so much depth to the characters, both main & supporting that you end up with mixed emotions for them throughout. This story wrecked me in a way a book has not wrecked me in a long time, but in so many good ways. It completely shattered me but then miraculously (as only a very few, incredibly talented authors can) brought me back from the brink of utter destruction and put me back together again. There are so many note worthy & quotable lines that I turned around and also purchased the paperback version JUST so that I could make notations to keep with me. This is now one of my all time favorite books- and I've read a couple thousand, if that tells you anything.😅🖤