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Helena Hann-Basquiat

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Memoirs of a Dilettante - Volume One Kindle Edition

by Helena Hann-Basquiat (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

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Memoirs of a Dilettante is a collection of reminiscences, following Helena Hann-Basquiat, a self-proclaimed dilettante who will try anything just to say that she has, and her twenty-something niece, who she has dubbed the Countess Penelope of Arcadia, in their off-beat antics in such places as common as the local McDonald's or the comic book store, to their travels to Miami for the search for the perfect Cuban sandwich. Interspersed between wacky one-off adventures, Helena tells personal, sometimes painful stories from her past in order to try and make sense of her life as it has played out, tempering everything with an indomitable sense of humour.

Cummerbund Bandersnatch, the Accidental Plagiarist, strippers, rock stars, geeks, freaks, and the Barista With No Name -- these are just a few of the characters you'll meet inside.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00J6B3GB4
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Dilettante Publishing; 1st edition (March 21, 2014)
Publication date ‏ : ‎ March 21, 2014
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 2161 KB
Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
Print length ‏ : ‎ 302 pages

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Helena Hann-Basquiat

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Helena Hann-Basquiat dabbles in whatever she can get her hands into just to say that she has.

She's written cookbooks, ten volumes of horrible poetry that she bound herself in leather she tanned poorly from cows she raised herself and then slaughtered because she was bored with farming.

She has an entire portfolio of macaroni art that she's never shown anyone, because she doesn't think that the general populace, or, "the great unwashed masses" as she calls them, would understand the statement she was trying to make with them.

Some people attribute her with inventing the Ampersand, but she has never made that claim herself.

She was completely self-educated in a private institute in the Catskills where she majored in Pop Culture and Unpopular Music. She wrote her doctorate thesis on the films of John Hughes, and awarded herself a doctorate, though it's not generally recognized.

She enjoys short walks on the beach and getting smashed on Grey Goose and grapefruit juice and then staring at the SUN studios logo until it looks like it's alternately setting and rising.

She was born in the small village of Bichon-Frisse near the France/Switzerland border, daughter of a part-time cello teacher and a painter -- well, her mother painted nails at the Happy Time Nail Salon -- so that's sort of painting. And that bit about her father being a part-time cello teacher, that was not so much of a lie as a typo -- it should read Jello teacher -- he taught Home Economics three days a week at the local high school, and really was only called upon for his culinary expertise in the medium of Jello.

Helena is currently working on a rock opera based on the life of Cecil B. DeMille, tentatively titled "Cecil B. Goode", or perhaps "The Ten Commandments of Love"

When Helena is not writing ironic, self-deprecating loosely autobiographical post-modern memoirs, she writes disturbingly dark fiction under the name Jessica B. Bell.

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Kevin B.

or possibly a committee like the one that produced the works of “Shakespeare

Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2014

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I don’t know if Helena Hann-Basquiat is a real person or not, or possibly a committee like the one that produced the works of “Shakespeare.” All I know for sure is that she/he/they is a hell of a writer.

I chose to read it as fiction, but “Memoirs of a Dilettante - Volume One” is neither a memoir nor a novel, nor a collection of short stories. Maybe it’s a bag of bagatelles, I don’t know. But in a strange way it does seem to recount things that might have really happened to a young woman around the time Helena describes them. Real people and things are mentioned, such as Morrissey -- and I know he’s real because I have several of his records. Helena is enamored of him. Oh, and Amoeba Records in San Francisco, which I also know to be real because I’ve bought Morrissey records there.

What this book really is, I think, is a chance for a superb wordsmith to show off a little bit, to craft really enjoyable sentences that are a pleasure to read, to create personas and voices that almost want to rise from the page like a pop-up book for kids, and to entertain readers with a “narrative” that goes anywhere and everywhere in a way that is more like “Tristram Shandy” than anything else I can think of. All the while it is leading to a surprisingly poignant and moving conclusion.*

In other words, this is a unique book by a unique writer, and though someone seeking literally a memoir or a novel might be surprised by what he finds here, he definitely will not be disappointed.

----
*Plus, the nearly 400 footnotes are a lot of fun, and easy to toggle to in the ebook.

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HastyWords

You must read, darling!

Reviewed in the United States on July 15, 2014

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Not only does Helena Hann-Basquiat write with a style I am addicted to, she writes in a way you can't help but visualize everything as if it is happening first hand. She covers many relate-able truths using humor and is a master at capturing you in the moment. She has a whole lot more coming our way and I can't wait to get my hands on them.

One person found this helpful

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Loves To Read

Entertaining, funny and touching

Reviewed in the United States on January 28, 2016

This is a entertaining book in many ways, and the pop-culture references are amusing and perceptive. I was reminded of how self-absorbed and ridiculous people can be by some of the situations the characters find themselves dealing with (such as getting involved with someone you don't want to be involved with and drinking too much and doing dumb things as a result). There are no excuses for the nonsense, however. Helena takes responsibility for her actions, does learn from her experiences and acknowledges that poor choices are made along the way.

The reminiscing seems random with no clear direction at first, but it does make sense in the end, and Helena's smart-mouth reference notes to her readers are funny. The common thread throughout Helena's story is the bond between Helena and her niece, Penelope, AKA Penelope, Countess of Arcadia or Penny. Helena and Penny have both lived through pain and loss, and their relationship is touching.

Memoirs of a Dilettante is worth reading, darlings, especially for the interaction between Helena and Penny.

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KC

Not perfect, but still kind of fabulous.

Reviewed in the United States on November 13, 2014

First of all, this book isn't perfect.

But I loved the quirkiness of it anyway, so I'm willing to look past a few things and still give it 5 stars. I say that because 3 days after finishing it, I'm still thinking about it.

FIRST THING YOU SHOULD KNOW: This is not a memoir that has a true story arc to it. It's more like a collection of memories. (Duh. Memoir. But NOT memoir.) At first, I was skeptical. Within the first 5% I kept thinking . . . where is this going? But then I just settled in for the ride, and ended up kind of falling into a girl crush.

SECOND: it's faster (via ebook) than it looks. There are so many notes added in (which are great: you should read them) that it really ends at like 68%. The chapters are pretty short too, which makes for easy reading, so you never get bored in one of the little recollections.

THIRD: While the disorganization of it was, at first, not working in it's favor, I ended up looking forward to it. Because what I actually found through the stories was that a couple of really deep characters emerged, amongst a lot of alcohol and not a few music references.

^ This is where the strength of the story lies. The characters. Though scattered and eccentric and sometimes a mere channel for a musical opinion spree, it's kind of the beauty of it. There are hints of life that sneak in, and I ended up highlighting so many sentences that my kindle looked like a zebra.

That's why I gave it five stars. I couldn't stop highlighting (which means I want to remember all those lines) and I'm still thinking about the characters after several days.

One person found this helpful

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Hannah

Laughter, Tears, and Alliterations Abound

Reviewed in the United States on March 27, 2014

Reading Memoirs of a Dilettante is like being let in on a series of inside jokes. The flamboyant language and often ridiculous scenarios are told in a rollicking style that is a pleasure to read in itself. The stories range from humorous to heartfelt and it's hard to choose which one Helena Hann-Basquiat does better.

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Memoirs of a Dilettante - Volume One Kindle Edition

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