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Holding on to Forever: An Emotional Angsty Stand-alone Contemporary Romance Kindle Edition
ADAM
Returning to my drug-dealing past wasn’t on the agenda when I accepted the full ride to play ball at Cypress U. But Mom lost her job. And my sister’s medical bills are mounting. So, I’ve no choice but to change the playbook.
When Emily walks into my life, like a fallen goddess with the ultimate power to destroy me, I know I’m screwed. I should steer clear, but I’m the one supplying her poison of choice. Falling for her is a complication I don’t need, but the more she’s around, the harder it gets to walk away. She needs me, and I crave her more than the sport I love.
Now, it’s all on the line. Including the NFL career that’s tantalizingly close.
The stakes are high, but family means everything, so I’ll take my chances.
EMILY
It’s only a problem if it’s out of control. And I have it in hand.
Except a certain a-hole discovers I’m using again, and he threatens to rat me out to my folks. Mom’s president of Cypress U, and Dad’s the illustrious football coach. Appearances mean everything to them, and I’m a continuous disappointment. They told me I’d be out on my ass if I fell off the wagon, so keeping it a secret is my number one priority.
Until the super-hot all-star QB takes more than a passing interest in me. Adam gets me, in a way no guy ever has, filling my head with ideas of forever—and now, I want more.
Dating my dealer is a recipe for disaster, especially when it’s forbidden, but I can’t help myself.
Because I’ve fallen too deep.
And the hole is too large to crawl out of.
Due to mature content and possible triggers, this book is recommended to readers aged eighteen and older. Please refer to the note at the start of the book. This is a full-length novel (93k words).
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From the Publisher



Editorial Reviews
Review
"Prepare to cry, swoon, and fall in love with Adam and Emily. This is such a heartfelt and romantic story, as well as an honest, raw depiction of addiction, that you're not going to want to miss." BookDragonGirl
"There is such tragedy in these characters lives. They have both been through so much. The way they meet is not your typical boy meets girl story. But, I'm so glad they find each other ... and I really loved the ending." Danielle. Goodreads reviewer
"Adam and Emily's journey is emotional, difficult, and ugly but their destination is beautiful. You will feel all the emotions during this read and come out complete and happy at the end." Jennifer. Goodreads reviewer
"Adam is not your typical cocky alpha QB that I have seen so often in sports romances. I found his wholesomeness to be refreshing, and I developed a major crush on him." Dana. Goodreads reviewer
"This book had me on the edge of my seat. The gut-wrenching storyline of past abuse and addiction was so honestly portrayed the reader feels like they are walking in the character's footsteps. I wish I could give it more than 5 stars - this is a must read!!" Nikki. The Overflowing Bookcase
"Together, these two fabulous ladies have created something moving and magical." Shonna. Goodreads reviewer
"I literally have no words good enough to describe this book. Holding on to Forever is a beautiful story that draws on many issues but shows the strength and struggles perfectly associated with them." Shauni. Goodreads reviewer
"Riveting story of addiction, love, forgiveness, and healing. Beautiful and well-written story. I could not put it down. " Carrie. Goodreads reviewer
"This story was so good, you won't want to stop reading! I even stayed up until 4 am to finish it! " Abby. Goodreads reviewer
From the Inside Flap
"Emily." Adam clicks his fingers, peering into my face with concern in his eyes. "You still with me?"
"Sorry. My mind wandered." I clench my hands in my lap, swallowing back bile as my body trembles all over.
"You're shaking." He pulls me to his chest, and I rest my cheek against his shoulder, allowing him to comfort me. He smooths a hand up and down my back, and it's such a tender gesture it brings tears to my eyes again.
Adam is one of the good guys. Last night and this morning have proven that. If I was a normal girl, I'd be crazy for him.
But I'm not, and I can't afford to be.
I shuck out of his hold. "Thanks for looking after me last night." I stand. "I should go."
"Emily, wait." He stands, threading his fingers in mine. "I know you're scared. I can see it in your eyes. And I want to help."
"Why me?" I tip my chin up, peering deep into his eyes.
He takes a big breath. "Because I like you and I don't want to see you hurt."
"Is that the only reason?"
He blows air out of his mouth, looking undecided for a few minutes. "I know all the reasons why you and I shouldn't hang out," he says, and my heart splutters in my chest. "But there are more reasons why we should." My heart grows wings and soars.
"You want to hang out with me?" I blurt.
He rests his forehead on mine. "I want to do so much with you, Emily," he whispers, and his warm breath fans across my face, igniting new flames. "But why don't we start with being friends?"
"I don't have many friends," I admit in a hushed voice.
"Then it's settled." He hugs me to him, and I don't protest this time, wrapping my arms around his solid body, and clinging to him like he's my only lifeline. He tilts my chin up with the tip of one finger. "Now, tell me what's really going on with Wes."
Copyright Siobhan Davis and S.B. Alexander 2019
Product details
- ASIN : B07XGBP33Z
- Publication date : September 15, 2019
- Language : English
- File size : 2.0 MB
- Simultaneous device usage : Unlimited
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Not Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 327 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: #686,481 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #6,049 in Sports Romance (Books)
- #11,268 in New Adult & College Romance (Kindle Store)
- #20,663 in New Adult & College Romance (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors
Bestselling author S.B. Alexander writes paranormal, new adult, and young adult romance. Her writing is emotional, angsty, and character driven, and features hot heroes stealing hearts.
S.B. or Susan as she likes to be called is a navy veteran, former high school teacher, and corporate sales executive. She’s a lover of sports, especially baseball, although nowadays you can find her on the golf course.
When she’s not writing, she’s a full-time caregiver to her soul mate of twenty-three years who got a bad deal in life when he was diagnosed with ALS. Her motto: “Life is too short to waste. So live every moment like it’s your last.”
Join SB’s mailing list for exclusive news: https://sbalexander.com/newsletter
Siobhan Davis™ is a USA Today, Wall Street Journal, and Amazon Top 5 bestselling romance author. Siobhan writes emotionally intense stories with swoon-worthy romance, complex characters, and tons of unexpected plot twists and turns that will have you flipping the pages beyond bedtime! She has sold millions of books and her titles are translated into several languages.
Prior to becoming a full-time writer, Siobhan forged a successful corporate career in human resource management.
Originally from Ireland, she now lives in Cyprus with her husband.
Join the author's mailing list to receive a free e-book plus tons of bonus content. Refer to the official author website.
Customer reviews
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To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find this romance book beautifully written and emotionally engaging, with one review noting its full of angst and love. The story features unexpected twists and turns, and customers appreciate the wonderful characters. They consider it worth the investment, with one mentioning it's a hangover well worth it.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book worth the price, with one mentioning that the emotional journey is well worth the investment.
"...‘Holding On To Forever’ is an absolutely phenomenal book. From start to finish the entire story is heart wrenching and amazing...." Read more
"...It is better for a more mature person to read. But it is such an incredible book. I highly recommend it!" Read more
"...This book was amazing! I love when authors collaborate on books because it links me to another author that I may be interested in reading...." Read more
"...And even rape, and sexual abuse. So, not an easy book to read. But worth it. Very worth it." Read more
Customers appreciate the emotional depth of the book, which features intense topics and a love-hate relationship between the characters.
"...This book touches on some very difficult topics and the author’s handle these topics with delicacy but also without sugar coating either...." Read more
"...way too many to count at times, but their story is beautiful and full of angst and I truly did enjoy this bumpy ride that the authors took us on." Read more
"What a beautiful and emotional book. This book shows true love really can overcome anything. It also shows not all are ment to be parents...." Read more
"...I had a very love hate relationship with this book. It focused alot on addiction and what it was like for everyone involved. I couldn't put it down...." Read more
Customers enjoy the story of the book, with one mentioning it is full of unexpected twists and turns.
"...From start to finish the entire story is heart wrenching and amazing...." Read more
"...Adam both have flaws, way too many to count at times, but their story is beautiful and full of angst and I truly did enjoy this bumpy ride that the..." Read more
"...and some horrible characters, but I’m so glad I read this amazing story." Read more
"...It would have made a great twist if he gotten a NFL deal. Miracles do happen. Otherwise, great book." Read more
Customers praise the writing quality of the book, describing it as beautifully written and an amazing read.
"Davis writes well but she tends to lose track of some of her characters and thinks the audience has too...." Read more
"This is a beautifully written story that deals with some tough subjects. Holding on to Forever centers around Adam and Emily...." Read more
"...You wrote yet another beautiful story and I couldn't put it down.....Finished it in a day!" Read more
"...This isn't a fairytale romance, it is a strong and powerful beautifully written story full of angst and love. It truly is a must read!!" Read more
Customers appreciate the character development in the book.
"...This book has some wonderful characters and some horrible characters, but I’m so glad I read this amazing story." Read more
"...Adam and Emily are relatable characters. There’s humor and there’s real seriousness...." Read more
"This was a really good book. For the most part I liked the characters, although they irritated me at times. Overall a good book." Read more
"...All of the characters were just so authentic and endearing!! Hard to put done once I started it!!" Read more
Customers find the book beautiful, with one describing it as endearing.
"What a beautiful and emotional book. This book shows true love really can overcome anything. It also shows not all are ment to be parents...." Read more
"...You each are beautiful and lov d." Read more
"This story is both heartbreakingly tragic yet absolutely beautiful and will make you fall in love...." Read more
"...All of the characters were just so authentic and endearing!! Hard to put done once I started it!!" Read more
Reviews with images

You should read this book 💜
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on September 15, 2019Adam Miller isn’t your typical college athlete. Sure he’s the starting quarterback and he is darn good at what he does, but he’s also a family guy. He would go to the ends of the earth for his mom and sister. When he finds out that his mom lost her job and the health insurance that went along with it, he revisits a part of his past he would have liked to have left behind to help make cash to help his family out. He starts dealing drugs. It’s a quick way to make the cash he needs to help out, nothing more. Until the day he meets Emily Parker.
Emily has been using drugs as a way to escape her reality. Her family has to keep up appearances, so her drug use has to be on the down low. When she meets her new drug dealer, Adam, she never expected him to be more. Keeping both of their secrets safe is the end game, but when lines become blurred it’s hard to deny that they are attracted to each other. Will their secrets be safe? Or will everything come to a boiling point that could change their lives forever?
‘Holding On To Forever’ is an absolutely phenomenal book. From start to finish the entire story is heart wrenching and amazing. This book touches on some very difficult topics and the author’s handle these topics with delicacy but also without sugar coating either. I was not expecting this book, to say that this book is a journey is an understatement. Just when I thought I had something figured out, I was thrown for another loop! You will be drawn in from the start, and I promise if you think you have it all figured out, you are wrong, but in the best way possible! I voluntarily reviewed an advance complimentary copy of this book.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 6, 2019If you're a lover of angsty new adult reads then you will love Holding On To Forever by Siobhan Davis and S.B. Alexander! Emily on the outside seems like she has everything going for her, but she's really broken and has an addiction to drugs. Adam is a star football player and also has his own problems that lead him to having to sell drugs which has their paths crossing. From the moment Adam lays eyes on Emily he is enamored with her, but can anything really happen with these two? I really enjoyed how this story between Emily and Adam played out. Adam knew what he was doing was wrong, but his reasons for doing it were understandable. But once Emily got involved, he did everything in his power to keep her clean as well as help his family, and I admired this about him. He only wanted what was best for her and to help her stay away from the drugs, which is quite contradictory to what he was doing, but you can see how much he truly does love her. Emily on the other hand, is fighting so many demons in this book it's not funny, and it's definitely not shocking that she relapses so many times. My heart broke over and over again for her and everything that she had gone through and continues to go through throughout this book. This book was a hard read at times since it does deal with some very hard subjects, but the way they were dealt with was done in such a great way that I really enjoyed it. This book was raw, and powerful, and the characters were ones you could really connect with. Emily and Adam both have flaws, way too many to count at times, but their story is beautiful and full of angst and I truly did enjoy this bumpy ride that the authors took us on.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 12, 2020What a beautiful and emotional book. This book shows true love really can overcome anything. It also shows not all are ment to be parents. Drugs can also be very dangerous and people turn to them for different reasons to either take or sell them. My heart goes out to Emily in this book. She went through so much. She is such a strong and resilient woman to overcome all she did. I'm so glad she got the support she finally needed.
With that said, this book really does have a lot of triggers. It's not for everyone. It's very emotional. It is better for a more mature person to read. But it is such an incredible book. I highly recommend it!
- Reviewed in the United States on September 16, 2019I voluntarily reviewed an advanced complimentary copy of this book.
This book was amazing! I love when authors collaborate on books because it links me to another author that I may be interested in reading. I had a very love hate relationship with this book. It focused alot on addiction and what it was like for everyone involved. I couldn't put it down. I highly recommend this book. Please be cautious this book does contain things that are triggers. There are phone numbers in the he back of the book for different hotlines. Please of you are need of help reach out to someone. If you feel you have noone to turn to I will be your someone. You each are beautiful and lov d.
- Reviewed in the United States on February 1, 2021Davis writes well but she tends to lose track of some of her characters and thinks the audience has too. The author had 2 characters, Zach and Scarlett, who were important to the heroine and when she changes her life they disappear and never spoken oh again like Emily didn’t give a crap what happened to them “ her” best friends. The relationship was unfinished so I gave the story 3 stars
- Reviewed in the United States on September 20, 2019Emily has had a very tough time of it in her life. Not the picture perfect people assume. Surface and all that. Girl has some demons that she's still struggling with. Not in the best way either.
Adam, the football QB, hasn't had the best out of life either. Peas in a pod these two. Adam having a sister with a terminal illness isn't easy for him to deal with at times. Trying to continue with college and football isn't easy to manage sometimes, and when things fall hard for his mom, he feels it falls on him to take up the slack whether she wants him to or not.
A football star, and the coaches daughter. The drug dealer, and the drug addict. It can be either a daydream or a nightmare depending.
This is a heavy one. Not fluffy at all. Hit on some not so easy to talk but topics. Drugs, addiction everything that comes with it (true me it's a lot) child abuse, because not all child abuse is physical. Mental and emotional is the same. And even rape, and sexual abuse. So, not an easy book to read. But worth it. Very worth it.
Top reviews from other countries
- Emma raffertyReviewed in Australia on September 20, 2019
5.0 out of 5 stars Holy moly
Without wanting to give anything away make sure you read the trigger warnings before you jump into this book, if you have certain topics you don't like to read about. Our FMC is damaged and it takes A lot for her to make it to the other side our MC also goes on a journey. I loved this book it was raw, emotional and at times difficult to read because of one particular characters suffering. The love between these two characters is sweet, although puts an added pressure into their relationship. It was written so well that you really felt these characters were still young and trying to deal with the darkness of the world and struggling to stay a float due to inexperience or knowledge and wisdom on how best to try and handle situations. A great book. But don't expect sunshine and rainbows in this story.
- Kindle CustomerReviewed in Canada on October 13, 2020
5.0 out of 5 stars Emily and Adam
I read all I can find written by Siobhan Davis. This is an excellent read as are all her books and I had to keep reading til I finished it. The turmoil and struggles both of them face are extreme and they needed to be strong to get through it. Addiction is a terrible disease and rape is a crime words can't adequately describe. Blackmail too. Adam made wrong choices for the right reasons. It was good to see them get through it all and get their lives on track.
- Pauline KingReviewed in Italy on November 10, 2023
5.0 out of 5 stars Gripping read
Emotional new book from two great authors. As ever, deals with hard hitting issues but doesn't lose that touch of romance which makes you feel good. Love Adam as he's not the jock we usually find in sport romances. Yes,he makes mistakes but is ,on the whole,a good guy. Very family orientated. Emily has had a lot to deal with too and gets sucked into a vicious circle., making very bad choices.Their two worlds collide after a chance meeting and ...
Be prepared to be blown away and for some major plot twists that I didn't see coming!
- EmilyReviewed in the United Kingdom on July 10, 2020
5.0 out of 5 stars Heavy intense content with a damn adorable story!❤
Emily and Adam's story is just immense and I am absolutely in love with it!
From the beginning your heart just goes out for Emily. There is clearly something that she doesn't want to deal with amongst all the other things that she actually has to. Her mother clearly doesn't care for her which is so obviously even before it is 'officially revealed' and her dad is obviously going through a lot on his own. Which leave Emily to resort back to drugs even after rehab. Even though it seems like her friends are supportive and have her back, the further into the book we get the realisation is that they are actually a bit more toxic than initially thought.
But Adam enters her life and neither of them are ever the same again.
When we are first introduced to Adam he is just such a sweet, adorable guy who loves his family more than anything and will do anything to help and protect them. And we see just how much when his little sister needs more medical help and Adam resorts to dealing drugs like he did once before to help his family. Adam constantly has an internal struggle about dealing drugs, especially when Emily enter his life, but the one thing that always keeps him doing it is his family.
Emily and Adam clearly fall in love with each other at first sight. It is an unstoppable thing. When once all that mattered was his family, Adam quickly cares for Emily in a way he only does for his family. He steps up for Emily on several occasions that have you clutching at your heart and nearly crying at the way he cares for her. Their journey isn't easy between the battle with drugs they both have (from different sides but still all the same), blackmail they both go through and all the family drama.
What I do love about this book though (besides everything I have mentioned already) is the viewpoint of both side of drugs. Many people realise and can understand why people turn to taking drugs but the reasons people have for selling drugs isn't always thought of. This book gave a very interesting and poignant viewpoint of both sides which I thoroughly adored.
- Kindle Customer lou_lou17Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 26, 2019
4.0 out of 5 stars Good read
Definitely a book that grips you enough in more ways than one, there are several aspects that are happening around the main characters and it helps keep the suspense going, as opposed to the cliche of a lot of stories where there's one hurdle you spot from a mile off. This had a few twists that was intriguing but through it all you never doubted Adam or his love for em. It was clear and not in a cheesy roll your eyes kind of way either which isn't easy to pull off.