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Marléne Rose Shaw
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How Kind People Get Tough: Assertiveness Tools, Tips, and Techniques for More Confidence and Happier Relationships Paperback – December 7, 2019

by Marléne Rose Shaw (Author)
4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 41 ratings
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Are you fed up giving away your time and energy? Do you wish you could stop pleasing people, set better boundaries and just say no without feeling guilty?

How Kind People Get Tough is an excellent guide for mastering boundaries and building confidence for happier, more successful relationships

  • Discover the secrets to stop pleasing people and setting boundaries.
  • Learn effective communication techniques to be heard and gain respect.
  • Say no with confidence and without guilt.
  • Start leading life on your own terms whilst still having great relationships.
  • Be the real you, and be okay with that.


Marléne Rose Shaw is a therapist, coach and self-help author with over 25 years expertise in helping people gain confidence, have better relationships and live life on their own terms. She works with individuals, couples and groups.

This book is special in that it goes beyond teaching basic assertiveness. It explains why we human beings have an innate struggle with being more assertive in the first place, and it teaches you how to get past these fundamental blocks.

Packed full of case studies, tools, tips, and techniques, this much-loved book also includes your free Online Companion Course to help you apply the skills in the book to your own life and relationships.

Here are just a few of the comments people are making about How Kind People Get Tough (scroll down to the reviews to read more)

Absolutely fantastic read!

This book has been one of the best in it`s field that I have ever read.

I highly recommend this book.

I couldn't put this book down. The Author doesn't overwhelm you with too much information- each section is easy to understand and you are instilled with an understanding of the correct ways to become more assertive. I very soon noticed a difference in my own communications with others when I practised the given techniques, - I've loads to learn but the confidence obtained in trying is a huge boost. I'm eagerly looking forward to more insightful reading from Marléne Rose Shaw.

Good read

A really good read for people-pleasers like me. It helped me to understand how to set boundaries and why I behave like I do. Excellent

Beautifully crafted in simple terms

Be kind to yourself and read this book. Marléne has a knack of making you aware of your own strengths and, with simple tips, gives you the support needed to enable you to have happier relationships

Previous page
  1. Print length
    266 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    December 7, 2019
  4. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
  5. ISBN-10
    0993541917
  6. ISBN-13
    978-0993541919
  7. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

AUTHOR REVIEWS

"A timely book with a timeless message, How Kind People Get Tough is more than just a blueprint for kinder living. At its core, it also reminds us to stand firmly yet kindly within our power. Your heart and your relationships will be stronger after reading it."
Michael J. Chase, Bestselling Author & Founder of The Kindness Center
​'' How Kind People Get Tough in short, is a life plan to live by--guiding the reader to be true to themselves and to learn how to be assertive.
The beauty of the book is it offers a companion course so the reader can stay on track to living life consciously and making positive, healthy choices. The contents include assertive communication tools, tips and techniques for more positive and happier relationships.
Be kind to yourself, build your confidence in saying yes to you and buy this book. You'll be glad you did.''
​Wendy Fry ~ Author of Write from Your Heart
"Marlene Rose Shaw's book "How Kind People get Tough" is a wonderful handbook for kind people who desire more confidence and relationships that feel good.
She dispels the myth that kindness is a good thing and assertiveness is not, and helps us to understand clearly what is meant by each of those terms. As a sensitive person, I loved learning that assertiveness includes being authentic, focusing on love, and seeking a win-win outcome. Many sensitive introverts find it extremely difficult to set boundaries, be assertive, and put their own needs ahead of others'. This book will be a game changer for them!
​She helps us recognize some reasons behind the reluctance to come across as mean or aggressive. Best of all, the book provides excellent, down to earth guidance and methods to gain respect, be heard, and create relationships that work.
​The "Intentional life plan" in the book is a practical value-add that I can't wait to share with my clients! This is a fantastic book on a difficult topic. "
​Liesel Teversham savvyselfgrowth.com

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Nielsen (December 7, 2019)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 266 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0993541917
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0993541919
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 11 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 41 ratings

About the author

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Marléne Rose Shaw

Marléne Rose Shaw

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Marléne Rose Shaw, BA (Hons) App. Psych is a therapist, coach and self-help author. She has a thriving practice helping individuals and couples across the globe as well as online group coaching programs.

She also appears regularly on a number of podcasts and interviews to discuss topics around relationships, emotional growth and confidence and answers audience questions.

Over the past twenty-five years she has helped thousands of people change their lives for the better. She is passionate about helping people overcome problems that have been keeping them stuck and unhappy, sometimes for decades, to move forward to become the creators of their own lives and destinies.

In her books she shares a number of the tools and techniques that she uses in her sessions with clients. She also includes case studies to help the reader connect and identify with the problems and solutions described. She writes in a very relatable way.

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
41 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Eleni Vardaki
5.0 out of 5 stars A really helpful book for all people pleasers
Reviewed in the United States on December 23, 2020
Verified Purchase
I found this book very helpful in understanding how I can develop my personal and my professional relationships.

The book is packed with case studies, practical advice and tips on how to communicate authentically and assertively.

Before I read this book, I would either consider a behavior to be kind or unkind. However the book opened my eyes to the concept of kindness as 'Misguided Kindness' or 'Conscious Kindness'. It made me aware that there are times when we’re doing something, thinking it is the kind thing to do, when in fact it isn’t helpful for the other person, ourselves, or the relationship.

A really helpful book for all people pleasers.
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Jamie Bee
5.0 out of 5 stars A Fascinating Read
Reviewed in the United States on March 6, 2020
The title of this book is not wholly apt. It's not so much about how kind people get tough. Rather, it's about how people who tend to want to be kind can be more assertive, helping both themselves and those they are in relationships with. I had been hoping that this book, from the title, would be about how to not be perceived as a doormat or how to get shown the respect you deserve. While the book certainly does not directly address either topic, I definitely felt like I was given some hints and tips along those lines. This is a relatively short read, but I found many wisdom nuggets inside. If you consider yourself to be kind at the core but have a hard time navigating boundaries or asserting yourself, you might find this book helpful.

I received a free copy of this book, but that did not affect my review.
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Dr. Patricia Eroh
5.0 out of 5 stars So helpful
Reviewed in the United States on March 9, 2020
Boy did I need this book. I love people and have difficulty being brutally honest. As a teacher I can offer feedback but sometimes kids need to hear the serious voice. This book gives awesome advice.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
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Top reviews from other countries

Breffnie O Kelly
5.0 out of 5 stars Everyone is likely to learn something useful from this book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 17, 2021
Verified Purchase
I bought this book despite rather than because of the title which didn't particularly resonate with me. I bought it because I had come across Marlene and her work on line and always felt she had something useful to contribute to a conversation.

However I'm really glad I now own and have read this book because I've learned some really clear and useful concepts to help me in all areas of my life but particularly as a parent. One key concept that landed for me is that when we say yes to a child in order to avoid confrontation we are actually denying the child the means to grow and develop their own ways of coping with "no". I realise that not saying no when we really "feel no" and want to say no is actually a type of selfishness rather than kindness.

I also loved the way that her years as a therapist have allowed her populate the book with concrete examples of how these concepts can be applied in every day situations eg at work and at home.

This is more than another personal development book, this takes you out of the book and by the hand into your home or workplace and shows you how to apply these concepts. It even gives you the actual words to say.

I thoroughly recommend it.
2 people found this helpful
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Donna Benton
5.0 out of 5 stars A powerful, life-changing book.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 27, 2020
Verified Purchase
What an amazing read this book is. The author has given those of us who struggle with confidence issues the tools to change our lives around and become the person we've always wanted to be. Thank you for your words of wisdom Marlene. I will always be grateful.
One person found this helpful
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M. A. Morgan
4.0 out of 5 stars Some useful practices
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 20, 2023
Verified Purchase
Overall this book has some very helpful explanations and practices, which I feel definitely help encourage and build assertiveness for those of us who were always taught to be nice to others, regardless of how they are acting.
Unfortunately at times some of the techniques mentioned are in the realms of pseudoscience, such as NLP and EFT, which are unfounded in science and not proven to be any more effective than placebo. However, these are only a minor part of what otherwise is very useful advice, and overall I have found this book to be rather helpful.
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N
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read!!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 2, 2020
Verified Purchase
I highly recommend this book. It's full of insight and case studies that are very relatable. Read this book to change your life for the better. It's a good book to dip back into aswell. Well done to the author for another fabulous book.
One person found this helpful
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loopy lou
5.0 out of 5 stars Good read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 23, 2020
Verified Purchase
A really good read for people pleasers like me. It helped me to understand how to set boundaries and why I behave like I do. Excellent
2 people found this helpful
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