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The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance (The Hitman's Guide Book 7) Kindle Edition
Ellis
Why is it that the first attractive man to look my way mistakes me for a bad guy, stuffs me in the trunk of his car, and ships me off to an island where I’m positive the only thing waiting for me is my own murder?
I mean... yeah, Tavish is charismatic and fun, but did I mention the whole trunk thing? Oh, maybe I forgot to mention his peculiar group of friends who keep promising to “help” me, but why are they running around with masks and weapons while praising fences?
Tavish and his friends are actually the bad guys, aren’t they?
If I (somehow) look past all of that… Tavish really does seem like a nice guy. He’s caring, funny, and willing to risk his life to protect me. It’s become quite clear that if I’m going to get out of this alive, I’m not going to be able to do it without him.
Tavish
So maybe I mixed things up a wee bit and took Ellis on a tiny road trip that he might not have been privy to. Ellis doesn’t seem to overly mind. I mean, yeah, maybe he tried blinding me with aerosol spray… or maybe I was just blinded by his handsome smile.
The problem is that Ellis is in danger, but he knows nothing about this world he’s been thrown into. He’s sweet, kind, and has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. And I’m prepared to protect it at all costs.
Contains a charming man who lays on a Scottish accent to get his way, a bewildered vet tech who’s wondering why everyone around him is so strange, a parrot who may or may not want to steal Tavish’s man, and the Hitman’s Guide crew up to their usual hijinks.
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication dateOctober 3, 2024
- File size3.6 MB
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Product details
- ASIN : B0DHJGLRVP
- Accessibility : Learn more
- Publication date : October 3, 2024
- Language : English
- File size : 3.6 MB
- Simultaneous device usage : Unlimited
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 379 pages
- Page Flip : Enabled
- Book 7 of 7 : The Hitman's Guide
- Best Sellers Rank: #68,573 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #16 in LGBTQ+ Action & Adventure Fiction (Books)
- #141 in LGBTQ+ Action & Adventure
- #227 in Romantic Action & Adventure
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Alice Winters started writing stories as soon as she was old enough to turn her ideas into written words. She loves writing a variety of things from romance and comedy to action. She also enjoys reading, horseback riding, and spending time with her pets.
Customer reviews
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book hilariously entertaining and consider it an absolute must-read in the series. The pacing receives positive feedback, with one customer noting the author's excellent character introductions, while another appreciates the expert-level narration. The plot is wild, and customers particularly enjoy the sex scenes, with one describing Tavish as "sexy af."
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Customers find the book hilarious, describing it as laugh-out-loud fun and wildly entertaining, with one customer particularly appreciating the interactions and banter between the characters.
"...been a few books in the last few years that have literally made me laugh out loud, and this one made me positively cackle in delight, repeatedly...." Read more
"...I really enjoyed the interactions and the banter, but once again the mystery part of it was convoluted...." Read more
"...The narration is expert level and it brings the humour and this world to life...." Read more
"This book was hilarious. I had no doubt this book would be great. Alice's brand of humor really makes for an excellent read for me...." Read more
Customers find the book highly readable and consider it a must-read in the series.
"...Alice's brand of humor really makes for an excellent read for me. I just can't get enough of Leland, Jackson, Cassel, Jeremy, and the lot...." Read more
"...What did I just read ? It was a fever dream that's for sure. It was not bad but definitely not what I had anticipated...." Read more
"Great read. Tavish lives for adventure and annoying Leland...." Read more
"...I swear this entire series is a masterpiece." Read more
Customers enjoy the pacing of the book, with several appreciating the over-the-top characters, and one customer noting the expert-level narration.
"...HAVE to start at the beginning because the author does an excellent job of introducing the characters that have had previous stories and while it’s..." Read more
"...Not so!! They actually both have a refreshingly unique voice. Ellis especially has a personality unlike anyone else in this series...." Read more
"...I have so much fun listening to these books. The narration is expert level and it brings the humour and this world to life...." Read more
"...action, once again wonderfully woven together with hilarity, familiar faces we adore, the perfect amount of romance, and an intriguing mystery...." Read more
Customers enjoy the sex scenes in the book, with multiple customers praising the characters Ellis and Tavish.
"...Ellis is so dang nice that he’s the first person to actually LIKE Leland without being even a tiny bit sarcastic by it...." Read more
"...I was hooked from page 1 and instantly adored Ellis...." Read more
"He is so nice. Unbelievably nice considering the way he interacted with Leland. Poor Ellis...." Read more
"...This book had me howling with laughter from the start. Ellis is a cutie pie, and Tavish is sexy af. I love them...." Read more
Customers enjoy the wild plot of the book, with one mentioning its intriguing mystery elements.
"...But it was also incredibly well-written and had a solid, wild plot that dragged me in from the first moment...." Read more
"...familiar faces we adore, the perfect amount of romance, and an intriguing mystery...." Read more
"This entire series is a delight. Great plotlines. Ridiculous scenes that are laugh out loud fun. I laughed until I cried...." Read more
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on March 9, 2025Format: KindleVerified PurchaseThere have been a few books in the last few years that have literally made me laugh out loud, and this one made me positively cackle in delight, repeatedly. It was hilarious, and wildly entertaining in the most flippant and irrelevant, ridiculous way. But it was also incredibly well-written and had a solid, wild plot that dragged me in from the first moment. I have only two regrets related to having read this book: 1. That it was on my TRB list for over a year before I got to it (I really regret that now that I’ve been so awesomely entertained by it!!) and 2. That I read this one first and didn’t start at the beginning of the series. You don’t HAVE to start at the beginning because the author does an excellent job of introducing the characters that have had previous stories and while it’s a wild mix of characters, it’s easy to figure everything out. I just wish I had started at the beginning… but I will be doing that now because I NEED to read about the first fence scene in real time!! Do yourself a favor and read this series. It’s great.
- Reviewed in the United States on April 30, 2025Format: KindleVerified PurchaseI don’t know how I missed this one. I’ve read the other six books in the series. So glad I found this. I’ve missed the gang. I’m glad they were all here. I’m going to go back and reread a few of them.
- Reviewed in the United States on October 11, 2024Format: KindleVerified PurchaseI definitely never expected to like any characters more than Leland and Jackson, but I just absolutely adore Ellis. When reading Cassel and Jeremy’s book, one of the main complaints is that their voice is almost indistinguishable from Leland and Jackson. It’s just the way that Alice writes and so I kind of assumed again that Tavish would sound like Leland/Cassel and Ellis would sound like Jackson/Jeremy. Not so!! They actually both have a refreshingly unique voice. Ellis especially has a personality unlike anyone else in this series.
We’ve seen plenty of nice and normal characters, but every last one of them is still confused, horrified, or annoyed by Leland. Ellis is so dang nice that he’s the first person to actually LIKE Leland without being even a tiny bit sarcastic by it. And by the end, Leland actually even speaks to Ellis like a normal Al, caring person instead of how odd he usually is when interacting with anyone.
It’s so refreshing to see a character who isn’t remotely part of this world interact with all of our good “bad” guys. At the beginning they just have no idea what to do with him. I love that the gang is all here - except for Mason. Even Micah and Everly join in on the fun a few times.
I really enjoyed the interactions and the banter, but once again the mystery part of it was convoluted. Like the previous book in the series, I just felt the case they were trying to solve was confusing and unbelievable. The only good mysteries in these books have been the ones having to do with Lucas and Leland’s past. Well, scratch that. The last book had that and I still didn’t like that mystery. Oh well. That’s not why we read these books, right? It’s to be entertained. And I felt like this installment was less repetitive since it focused on new characters it still familiar enough to fit right in with the rest of the series.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 23, 2025Format: KindleVerified PurchaseOkay, so I started out reading this series and to be honest, I stopped because it got really OTT and not in a fun way. But then there was some sort of sale and the audiobooks were on there for this series so I jumped back in that way. And it was the best decision. I have so much fun listening to these books. The narration is expert level and it brings the humour and this world to life. And while I can acknowledge that this book isn’t perfect and is definitely silly, I had the best time listening to it. This series is made for audio and Alice picked the perfect narrator. That song at the end was perfection. I highly recommend listening to this and prepare for lots of laughs.
- Reviewed in the United States on March 1, 2025Format: KindleVerified PurchaseI love when new characters gets added to the chaos Leland brings. Ellis is truly one of the most innocent ones and seeing him agreeing and care about Lelands shenanigans is just adorable.
Travish and Ellis first meeting isn't the best one, but it did get Ellis a crash course in what's to come and Leland a d Jackson can finally be free of Travish flirting with Jackson now that he found Ellis.
- Reviewed in the United States on October 6, 2024Format: KindleVerified PurchaseJust when I think this series can't possibly possibly get any better, along comes Tavish and Ellis to prove me wrong. I was hooked from page 1 and instantly adored Ellis. We start right off with the action, once again wonderfully woven together with hilarity, familiar faces we adore, the perfect amount of romance, and an intriguing mystery. I laughed out loud so many times, I flipped page after page captivated by the plot twists and turns, and I smiled at how adorable Ellis was as he embraced Tavish and his merry band of found family. I loved that we got a few chapters from Leland's POV, just the perfect amount to see more growth and emotion from him. The whole gang is back and just as fabulous as ever, but it did not overwhelm the sweet romance between Ellis and Tavish. It struck the perfect balance! I hope the author continues to bring us more from this world!
- Reviewed in the United States on October 6, 2024Format: KindleVerified PurchaseThis book was hilarious. I had no doubt this book would be great. Alice's brand of humor really makes for an excellent read for me. I just can't get enough of Leland, Jackson, Cassel, Jeremy, and the lot. I adore Ellis. He might be a new favorite character for me. The way he was unerringly polite and no one knew what to make of it had me rolling with laughter. I also loved how absolutely clueless and funny Tavish was when speaking to Ellis. I couldn't help but think while reading this that I CANNOT wait for the audiobook. Michael is absolutely going to make this book 20 times better than it already is. I'm so happy and also so sad because I wish I could go back and read it for the first time again. 10/10 would recommend if you like a funny book. Also please be careful if you plan to eat or drink while reading this. You might choke on the hilarity.
Top reviews from other countries
- tazmineReviewed in the United Kingdom on October 8, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing!
Format: KindleVerified PurchaseA brilliant book for a brilliant series.
So funny, sweet and interesting as always. I don't know how Alice juggles so many characters but she did an amazing job at giving them all their own personalities and love seeing them all interact in group settings 🤣
- GayleReviewed in Australia on October 4, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic
Format: KindleVerified PurchasePoor Ellis! I spent the first part of this story feeling so sorry for him. He's so sweet & innocent. Tavish messed up, but spends the remainder making it right. With the hilarious, ridiculous & supremely superior help of Leland and the gang they help bring in the bad guys, find the answers to Ellis's questions and have a ridiculous amount of fun whilst doing it. Tavish finding love with Ellis adds another mismatched, but totally right for each other couple to this crazy family of Hitmen. This book is a fabulous addition to the Hitman series.
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dec (¬_¬) 📚Reviewed in France on October 10, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Bonne histoire
Format: KindleVerified PurchaseComme à chaque tome, c'est drôle, mème si les sujets abordés peuvent être difficiles.
Ellis est inquiet et horrifié par tout ce qui se passe. Je finissais par croire que tout le monde trouvait l'univers des tueurs à gage normal. Enfin un personnage qui agit "normalement "
J'ai ri à certains moments.
J'attends l'histoire avec Everly.
- remus.grrrlReviewed in Canada on October 17, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Always a pleasure!
Format: KindleVerified PurchaseAnother fabulous, funny book in my favourite series. Alice Winters keeps the laughs and the action running fast. I hope this cast of characters is around for a long time.
- Kindle CustomerReviewed in India on October 4, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Always the fun mayhem
Format: KindleVerified PurchaseIt's an absolute pleasure to read this series and relive the characters through story after story. The fun is always unlimited in Alice's books so you can laugh to your heart's content. It's a must read series, you can't not love Leland ❤