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Caroline Batten
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Nearly Almost Somebody: Feel-good British fiction with Wicca magic and murder Kindle Edition

by Caroline Batten (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.1 out of 5 stars 396 ratings
A broken ballerina, a bad-boy vet and one very dead witch…
When newspaper scandals threaten his easy rural life, Patrick McBride needs to avoid trouble – and that means headlines waiting to happen like Libby Wilde. But Libby’s moved into the cottage of recently-deceased Maggie – the notorious local witch – and sadly for Patrick, uncovered Maggie’s spellbook. A little love spell can’t hurt, right?
A summoning spell, a missing pendant and a bottle of poisoned wine ensure Patrick can’t stay away from Libby, or the mystery of Maggie’s death.
Nearly Almost Somebody is contemporary British fiction — a Wattpad Number One and MOST READ title with 1,000,000 reads.
'Murder, love, cheating, poison and passion! This books lacks in nothing.' - Tay, ChicksThatRead.com
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  1. Print length
    424 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    March 26, 2015
  4. File size
    3.0 MB
  5. Page Flip
    Enabled
  6. Word Wise
    Enabled
  7. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
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Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00V99HAKY
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ (March 26, 2015)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ March 26, 2015
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 3.0 MB
  • Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 424 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.1 out of 5 stars 396 ratings

About the author

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Caroline Batten

Caroline Batten

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Caroline lives in the Lake District with her husband, small child and two Kune Kune pigs.

She daydreams of one day owning a pair of Louboutin's and having somewhere fabulous to wear them. Until then, she'll be found plodding up a mountain in her trusty hiking boots.

Caroline's novels #Forfeit and Nearly Almost Somebody are available on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback formats. Although they're standalone novels, they are both set in the same village so expect some familiar faces from #Forfeit to pop up in Nearly Almost Somebody.

Customer reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
396 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this book to be a lighthearted detective story with great suspense and a satisfying ending. They describe it as an engaging, well-written read with wonderful humor, and one customer notes it's a perfect summer weekend read. The character development receives mixed reactions - while some find them well-developed, others mention they are flawed.

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20 customers mention "Story quality"17 positive3 negative

Customers enjoy the lighthearted detective story with great suspense and mystery elements, with one customer noting a great twist at the end.

"...Along the way expect to find honest portrayals of young families, single men no longer interested in keeping score, the trials of start-up..." Read more

"...however, the book was an engaging (especially visually) novel, and perhaps my issues with it are because it's my first modern fiction u.k. read?..." Read more

"...One thing I really liked is that there's a mystery embedded in the story that doesn't get solved until the very end, and I was really surprised by..." Read more

"This is a pretty good story. I had a problem with two items. Not a fan of sex scenes. The protagonist knowingly has an affair with a married man...." Read more

18 customers mention "Readability"18 positive0 negative

Customers find the book engaging and brilliant, with one describing it as a perfect summer weekend read.

"...however, the book was an engaging (especially visually) novel, and perhaps my issues with it are because it's my first modern fiction u.k. read?..." Read more

"...There are upscale restaurants, handsome bars, scenic fells, and a giant tangle of relationships that'll make you want to book a trip." Read more

"For me, this book was just okay. In spite of the drama, I couldn't find these characters and situations believable enough to connect with them." Read more

"...There no flashy, evocative writing but, all in all, a good read." Read more

8 customers mention "Language"6 positive2 negative

Customers find the language of the book pleasant and well-written, with one customer noting it's good easy reading.

"Good easy reading for a lazy afternoon and evening...." Read more

"...Caroline Batten is a truly gifted author; the story is powerful and gripping while still retaining an element of juicy gossip that makes it all the..." Read more

"Too much British slanguage, too many characters, had a hard time keeping them all separate." Read more

"Love this author and her work - Batten produces wonderful humor, dialogue, storylines, suspense and most of all - she creates a world in which i..." Read more

4 customers mention "Humor"4 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the book's humor.

"...immediately impress me with their depth, believable, portrayal, humor, and of course the inevitable "OMG he/she didn't, you dummy" moments..." Read more

"...It's got everything you can ask for, drama, romance, comedy, death..." Read more

"...Just a darn good story with lovable, yet flawed characters. I strongly recommend this book, along with her other one, which I loved just as much." Read more

"Love this author and her work - Batten produces wonderful humor, dialogue, storylines, suspense and most of all - she creates a world in which i..." Read more

3 customers mention "Development quality"3 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the development quality of the book.

"...Great! Loved it." Read more

"A really good story with very good developed and charming characters..." Read more

"Love this author and her work - Batten produces wonderful ......" Read more

13 customers mention "Character development"9 positive4 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the character development in the book, with some finding them well developed while others note they are flawed.

"...The characters immediately impress me with their depth, believable, portrayal, humor, and of course the inevitable "OMG he/she didn't, you..." Read more

"...on connecting the reader to each character and painted each character-- in terms of personality, physical being, and emotional feelings-- very well...." Read more

"...The characters are flawed, yet engaging for all that...." Read more

"...Just a darn good story with lovable, yet flawed characters. I strongly recommend this book, along with her other one, which I loved just as much." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • D. Nilson
    5.0 out of 5 stars A great yarn - pleasantly well written with honest depictions of 21st century twenty-somethings
    Reviewed in the United States on June 1, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    "Chick Lit with Grit" said the introduction online. I was trawling WattPad looking to sort out the wheat from chaff. I didn't think I was going to find Clancy, W.E.B Griffin or Nelson DeMille on the free stacks, but who knew .... at least maybe this book wouldn't be staged in a middle school, written by an author who knew nothing else.

    Pleasantly surprised I discovered, I chose my favorite authors above not for the military/spy action, but the well developed characters. Who knew?

    Add Caroline Batten to my short list of favorite authors. And for those of you 1.5 million or so who read the free version on WattPad - THIS STORY IS DIFFERENT, and you need to re-read the published version, if for nothing else, the surprise ending.....

    Ms. Batten presents an honest and well developed character study of a modern 21 century twenty something population of a small English town. The characters immediately impress me with their depth, believable, portrayal, humor, and of course the inevitable "OMG he/she didn't, you dummy" moments that cause us to shake our heads and smile, and wonder how they are going to get out of THIS ONE.

    The story does every twenty-something credit - no negativity, whining, excessive video gaming, unresolved helplessness here. Ok, maybe a little wildness that carrys from University days, mixed in with having to get up in the morning and carry ou responsible jobs (teacher, veterinarian, ballet, rockstar painter) Get ready for deeply developed characters like a W.E.B. Griffin novel. Characters that make smart little remarks under their breath that would make DeMille smile, and there's even several Clancy-esque mysterious death, a car chase involving a helpless maiden, the theft of narcotics - ANIMAL narcotics... surrounded by the most honest portrayal of post university youth looking to make their way In the world despite their mistakes, realizing for the first time they have limitations they may be unwilling to accept, that I can ever remember reading.

    Chick lit? Not from where I sit..... This American bloke(dude) flipped page after page, enchanted with fell (mountain) running, drunken football (soccer) games with spectators high fashion that ultimately devolves into the infinitely funnier antics of a fraternity intramural game.

    Along the way expect to find honest portrayals of young families, single men no longer interested in keeping score, the trials of start-up businesses, spells, potions, several honest-to-god rock stars, actors, a world famous painter, a veterinary practice, and the aftermath of some wild parties - regrets? They have a few, but more than anything they accept their responsibilities and move their imperfect selves forward to a stunning conclusion you will not see coming.

    To the 1.5 million wattpad readers who read Distraction, Nearly Almost Somebody is a different book, and will jerk you upright as soon as you assume you know what coming next.

    Read this book! (Even if you THINK you already DID!).
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  • jade.
    4.0 out of 5 stars engaging read.
    Reviewed in the United States on June 26, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    i am not sure if it's the culture or what, but i really don't like chick flicks and fluffy nonsensical romances. they disturb me because the characters are fickle and have no idea what real love is, and they perpetuate the idea that love is idolizing romance and nothing else. lost girls, bad boys, etc. it's silly. also, i would read and think that i'd accidentally skipped a page or something, but then realize that i was just struggling with the transitions. however, the book was an engaging (especially visually) novel, and perhaps my issues with it are because it's my first modern fiction u.k. read? maybe it is true to life, i don't know. if it is, that would make sense and also make me very sad. i wasn't expecting so much on sex scenes. nonetheless, the author did a great job on connecting the reader to each character and painted each character-- in terms of personality, physical being, and emotional feelings-- very well. i wouldn't call this a very profoundly written story, but i definitely enjoyed reading it.
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  • David Bennett
    5.0 out of 5 stars Sexy and clever
    Reviewed in the United States on July 9, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    Chick-lit is absolutely *not* my thing, but I enjoyed reading this book. (That's another way of saying I majored in English and have to pretend I only like snotty books.) The author has added a few new characters to the mix from her earlier book, "Forfeit," so fans of that book will want to check this one out. One thing I really liked is that there's a mystery embedded in the story that doesn't get solved until the very end, and I was really surprised by the resolution. I absolutely did not see it coming. I appreciated being surprised so effectively. I also liked the setting. I'm an American with zero knowledge of the Lake District in England, but the town of "Gosthwaite" gives me a good idea what it might be like. I pictured lots of attractive, outdoorsy and, I almost forgot, rich young things who engage in the sorts of fun I wish I'd had in my twenties. There are upscale restaurants, handsome bars, scenic fells, and a giant tangle of relationships that'll make you want to book a trip.
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  • J Montoya
    3.0 out of 5 stars I couldn't connect
    Reviewed in the United States on August 8, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    For me, this book was just okay. In spite of the drama, I couldn't find these characters and situations believable enough to connect with them.
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  • ReaderRach
    4.0 out of 5 stars Worth your time
    Reviewed in the United States on September 2, 2016
    Verified Purchase
    This is a pretty good story. I had a problem with two items. Not a fan of sex scenes. The protagonist knowingly has an affair with a married man. I DID like the he fixed his marriage and she didn't interfere, so that made up for about 90% of it. 😉
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  • Makayla House
    5.0 out of 5 stars It's every bit as amazing as it was on Wattpad!
    Reviewed in the United States on August 15, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    I've read this story countless times while it was still on Wattpad and it's just as good if not better since being able to actually purchase and having been edited. I love every single detail about this story, from the Wicca to knowing each connection between the many characters and the seemingly innocent people being some of the baddest. I particularly love how in depth everything is. It's not too deep but not too short, particularly between the characters and their connections to eachother. I love how you know a pretty good amount of information about each one of the major and minor characters like Ed, Vanessa, the children, even Seamus Doyle. It all flows so perfectly and it's pretty much my favorite book. It's got everything you can ask for, drama, romance, comedy, death (I'm sure no one has the intentions of looking for death but hey it's there if you are) and like I said the detail leaves you feeling and seeing everything like you're right there with Libby and Zoe!
    One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • luce
    5.0 out of 5 stars welcome back to Gosthwaite
    Reviewed in Germany on March 27, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    After reading Caroline's debut novel #forfeit, I couldn't wait for this follow up. But don't be put off if you're coming straight to Nearly Almost Somebody, it works beautifully on its own.
    The characters we met before allow the newcomers the limelight, as we get to know Libby, Zoe and Patrick; their tales intertwine, and right to the last chapter I was gripped.
    Caroline has worked her magic again!
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  • Paola B.
    2.0 out of 5 stars Si perde nel vento
    Reviewed in Italy on July 12, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    Il libro inizia con un omicidio e il lettore appassionato del genere si mette comodo in attesa. Peccato che poi la storia vada avanti all'infinito con storie di sesso, bevute esagerate, pettegolezzi (troppi). Alla fine, ma solo alla fine, si torna al punto topico.
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  • Alison S. Parkins Book Reviews
    5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious mystery romance....
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 25, 2016
    Verified Purchase
    Book Excursions Book Reviews

    5 Stars!!!

    I was given this book in turn for an honest review!

    When Libby decided to follow Zoe leaving the City for the Countryside; little did she expect to enter a world of scandal, drama and mystery! Wasn't the countryside supposed to be peaceful? Not for Libby...

    In all honesty I truly had no clue, what to expect with this book; what I got completely shocked me! Caroline Batten has written a hilarious romance novel with drama, sex, mystery and suspense. The story at first was slow paced and detailed, which as the story progressed all made sense. Around 15% into the story, it really got going and I was soon hooked!

    The characters are a mixed bunch with their own idea of what's moral and what's not; although at the same time they always had each other’s back in a bizarre twisted way.

    I loved Libby, although she made mistakes and huge ones at that, she was always honest and up front, she was also a very private person, she wasn't one to tell the world her business.

    I wanted to hate Robbie but I couldn't find it in myself to do so. He was just too kind and irresistible even when he in my opinion let Libby take too much of the blame.

    Now Patrick was a bad boy, a sexy, irresistible man. Again I should have disliked him, however deep down he had a kind heart full of love; he was just too caring and sweet to resist.

    Zoe both infuriated me and left me with a heart of sadness. Her character was intriguing and the more you learnt of her past the more you saw how little love and care she had ever known or understood and her actions and demeanour made a lot more sense.

    Other characters to this story each had their own little quirks and twists, some I loved and some I wanted to slap. What they all did for me for sure was have me in hysterics more than once.

    This story is a whirlwind adventure that had me captivated and intrigued, I didn't want to put it down. This story is long and worth every minute which again surprised me, Caroline Batten is a very talented writer.

    If you love woman literature with romance, suspense, humour, drama and a whole load of mystery thrown in, without a doubt you will love Nearly Almost Somebody by Caroline Batten.
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  • Night Owl
    5.0 out of 5 stars Thoroughly entertaining read with lots of laughs!
    Reviewed in Australia on May 29, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    After reading the Authors debut book #Forfeit and being drawn into the lives of the quirky characters who live in the lakes district village of Gosthwaite and all of the hilarious banter and off beat adventures surrounding them, I was left wanting more...and this book definitely delivers!
    In this book we see a lot more development of the characters we first met along with a couple of new comers to the village, and a lot more hilarity with all the sub stories all this group of friends as their lives entangle together in off beat adventures and mischief all with a bit of white magic and mystery to tie it together.
    I am very impressed with this Authors ability to bring to life a story that is filled with loads of out loud laughs, lots of side stories, beautifully described settings and characters all woven together in a story that has the reader held captive to the last page! ....think Bridget Jones with a lot more alcohol and recreational drugs mixed with some sketchy white magic and who done it mystery.
    I am left wanting more and really hope to see more adventures from Gosthwaite soon!
    Best of all.....this book as well as her first one (#Forfeit) is complete without the dreaded cliffhanger ending that has sadly become all too popular these days!!!
    Caroline Batten is now on my watch list of Authors whose books I eagerly look forward to!

    A truly fun read.....and I would recommend this book to anyone.
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  • JenSlev
    5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing read
    Reviewed in Australia on June 13, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    Magic, murder, and love. Moving to a small town may be the getaway wanted for Libby and Zoe, but it doesn't take long for the drama to begin. Affairs, a nuder to solve, a little bit of magic, love and drama, this was a lovely long read, that has me wanting more!
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