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Queer Me!: Halfway Between Flying and Crying Kindle Edition

4.0 out of 5 stars 36 ratings

Tim discovers to his horror at 13 that he has fallen deeply in love with another 13 year old boy. The coming of age story of a shy queer teenager in the Swinging Sixties in the UK, this true story is the dramatised diary of Tim's teenage school days. The emotional ride starts on his 13th birthday on the 5th of August 1965, in a grey coast town in North Wales while he still is certain he's heterosexual, and ends as he leaves school in December 1970 aged 18.


His parents never understood who he was, never realised he had insecurities, was failing, was in love, was afraid of them, that he needed help. They told themselves he was a perfect China Doll. Queer China Dolls were faulty. In his family faulty China Dolls were smashed. This is the UK when homosexuality was first illegal; then, in the days leading up to its legalisation for consenting adults in the UK in 1967, it was talked about in parliament and the press as abhorrent, a perversion, an abomination.


These were bleak times to be a gay teenager, yet Tim shows his hopes and fears throughout. The places are real, so are the boys. The names are changed to protect the innocent and the guilty alike.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B07N7SVVL7
  • Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ January 29, 2019
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 4.3 MB
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 451 pages
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.0 out of 5 stars 36 ratings

About the author

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Tim Trent
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Tim Trent is an English author who writes to rid himself of his demons.

Well, that's a great start, isn't it? But his demons do appear in his writing, not least of which in his first work, 'Queer Me!'. If you want to learn more about the hothouse of his imagination in his teenage years, this is a dramatised, fictionalised diary of his time at a great British Public School clinging to chalk downland. The school did the clinging. Hmm. So did Tim.

He was born in 1952 in London, by all accounts a lovely little boy, and grew up the only child in the Worcester Park home where his father, a refugee from Vienna, Hitler, and the Holocaust, had Immigrant Syndrome. He strove to be more English than the English. His mother was an English Rose, and he was much loved, though it never quite felt that way, for it was without tangible affection. His was a strangely privileged childhood, granted to him by his struggling middle class family who clung on to solvency by their fingertips.

Imagine his shock to discover he had fallen in love with another 13 year old boy very soon after he moved to Public School in 1965. He deals with that shock, the horror of it, in 'Queer Me!'

He achieved failing his BSc in Metallurgy at Birmingham University in grand style. Tim loved technical theatre, and he put fun above academe by spending his time as a lighting and stage managing kid, and not really a being student at all. When he typed that sentence autocorrect altered his miskeying of 'fun' as 'ruin'. It seems his Freudian Slips follow him everywhere.

His first full time job was as a Civil Servant. It wasn't great to be homosexual in the 1975 UK Civil Service, and stress over concealing his real self meant he hid from himself as well as the world. That was not helped by his move to the harsh and unpleasant world of the nascent computer industry where he worked for US corporations variously as a support agent, a trainer, a salesman, and a marketing bloke. Retiring at the age of 57 was a blessed relief.

He was very lucky to fall for a lovely and pretty girl in October 1978, real love, proposed to her a week later, and has been married to her ever since Bastille Day in 1979. They have a son, a lovely daughter in law, and two gorgeous granddaughters.

He loves boats and sailing. In his retirement he teaches sailing and powerboating for two organisations, one in South Devon and the other in Derbyshire which take folk with disabilities afloat and help put fun and managed risk into lives that might not have any otherwise. He ran a charter boat for a while and had a part time job for his local harbour authority ferrying people to and from their boats. He always wanted to be a professional waterman since he taught kids to sail on the Thames at Surbiton as as a late teenager. Now he is. A Waterman, not a teenager.

Customer reviews

4 out of 5 stars
36 global ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on March 8, 2019
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    Being a teenager is hard enough. Being a teenager in the sixties was especially hard when society was being rocked with so much change. Add to that the burden of growing up gay in a straight world that disparaged you publicly in the news almost daily. Add then to that the terror of knowing if you're found out you could face the distinct possibility of being subjected to the cruelties of electro-shock therapy, institutionalization, or both, and where you're taught by societal example to hate the person that you are, and you're describing a world that countless gay teenagers experienced on a daily basis.

    Tim Trent captures the inner conflict, the lonely nights when the boogeyman presses in, the long days of fearing discovery, in his book "Queer Me!: Halfway Between Flying and Crying". In this autobiographical diary he describes a young man with a love and zest for life as he manfully negotiates the cognitive dissonance between joy and fear, between wonderful crushes on other boys and the struggle for the normalcy of falling for a girl, between a solitary, secret love and fear of discovery. He lives his life as best he can and he does it well.

    This is a tale of of a boy living life fully and courageously when he's not sure how. Bravo to the author. He's told our story.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on May 31, 2019
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    This is one of those books you just can't put down! I wish I had had more time for the book and less in between reads. Loved it and suffered with it. Definitely would read whatever you have to write, sir!
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on May 15, 2025
    Format: Hardcover
    Told in the form of journal entries that start on Tim’s thirteenth birthday and conclude when he leaves for university at age eighteen, “Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying” is the story of a young man growing up in the southeast of England as that nation is emerging from the shadow of World War II and is undergoing the social changes of the Sixties.

    Tim’s journal entries explore a compelling blend of what it was like to: grow up as the only child of somewhat controlling parents who seem a bit strange to him; experience life in an all-boys English private school; view events in the outside world from his perspective as an English schoolboy; develop a lifelong love for sailing; and discover that he is gay in a place where it really wasn’t socially acceptable- or even legal- to be gay. Worse for Tim, he finds himself falling in love with one of his classmates. How will he manage all of that? He begins by exploring his life experiences and feelings in his journal.

    This all seems like quite a handful for a young man to manage. Tim does a fine job of sharing what it felt like to be young, socially awkward, gay, and in love in that time and place. The journal entry format proves an effective tool to introduce important information and then leave it for readers to contemplate, without trying to create a cohesive narrative format. It works very well.

    I had intended to read this novel after the conclusion of tax season here in the United States (April 15). But when I opened the cover to glance at the first few pages, I couldn’t put it down. I finished reading before all the tax returns were complete! It was a real page-turner as I relived Tim’s youth with him and hoped that he would find a happy ending, even with most of the cards stacked against him.

    This novel will make fine reading for anyone interested in getting inside the thoughts and feelings of a young man growing up a little out of sync with his time and place. Had Tim been born fifty years later, much of the drama in this tale would be absent. But he was born when and where he was. He had to survive. And he did.
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 28, 2019
    Format: Paperback
    But, I am living in the heart of Texas, USA....teenage slang for getting a "welly" sucked off in the mud takes to much searching for a match, just like the fact that to my surprise "the caravan parked 50 yard from the shore".....when I was expecting metric vs Imperial measurement. Stopping my reading to research the situation, apparently metric was introduced in 1965 but there is still most people using feet, inches, miles, and yards in the UK. My aged brain was feeling this was not going to be an easy journey and I put the book aside until I feel up to the task......I have never started a book with problems like this before...
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2019
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    first, let me say that the cover image is pure clickbait; this book is about a closeted young man in Britain during the mid-late 60's, and NOT about teenage runaways in modern California.
    This book follows the form of a young man's diary from about age 14 to 18. Unfortunately, it was a fairly boring life, which makes a fairly boring read. Oh, there are a few interesting bits, but for the most part his inability to come to terms with his sexuality just gets annoying after a while. If you are hoping that there will be any sort of resolution by the end, there isn't.
    There is an old adage I once read, something like "Autobiographies are only good if the person lived an exciting life". Sadly, this book proves that all too well.
    4 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on March 17, 2019
    Format: Kindle
    Possibly the most realistic coming of age tale I have had the privilege of reading. The struggle, fear and uncertainty is very relatable to many and not just of my generation.
    From living as a man it is refreshing to see the story of a man without falsely over laying love from a women's perspective and passing it off as "love is love". Love is approached different, man to woman as well as gay to bi to trans. This story acknowledged this as well as masculine to effeminate from boyhood to manhood.
    Well done Tim Trent.
    2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • PCN
    5.0 out of 5 stars Inside the mind of a teeange boy
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 21, 2025
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    In this book, written in the form of a private journal (absolutely not "Dear Diary") the author skilfully recreates his life as a teenage boy at an English public school (i.e. a fee paying private school) in the 1960s. An only child, he suffers from over protective parents who seem determined to thwart his every ambition, mainly to meet girls. The reason he is so determined to meet girls is not what one might think. Young Tim has fallen desperately in love with another boy at school. But he is determined not to be queer and can't wait for this phase to pass. A girlfriend might cure him. Meanwhile Johnny. the object of his desire, remains apparently oblivious to young Tim's devotion, who constantly wrestles with the risk of telling him how he feels.
    Young Tim rails like all teenagers against the unfairness of life, in his case his stupid parents and their stupid rules, and against the stupid school and its stupid rules. To get inside the mind of an intelligent, gay teenage boy it would be hard to better this book.
  • Rigby Taylor
    5.0 out of 5 stars The best Diary I've had the pleasure of reading.
    Reviewed in Australia on June 13, 2019
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    This is a story about love. Obsessive love. About an intelligent boy aware of his differences and thoroughly disliking them. A healthy independent streak helps him to cope and find pleasure among the problems, and even some success in an over-regulated, at times hostile, English public school.
    Although terrified of being gay, and determined not to be, he is unable to prevent himself falling in love with another boy.
    Far from being a sad story, the style is light and quirky as Timothy relates his trials and tribulations from the age of thirteen to eighteen, with often amusingly self-deprecating insight. He desperately doesn't want to be so much in love, as he makes clear in almost every diary entry, yet the constant protesting about his fate is so cleverly written, changing as he matures, that it becomes an anticipated refrain that is never self-pitying and never tedious.
    I enjoyed the glimpses into the life of an English public school that appeared indifferent to the momentous social changes of the time, the reminders of events that excited the world, and the absolute reality of the stresses faced by a personable young man who, from no fault of his own, was born different from the ‘norm’.
    I thoroughly enjoyed the book, and unreservedly recommend it.
  • Ted
    4.0 out of 5 stars Don’t expect a happy ever after ending
    Reviewed in Japan on November 22, 2024
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    Very definitely a real story, central character easy to identify with, but.. such obsession is/was not positive imo.
  • Johanna Sarah Aldridge
    5.0 out of 5 stars Like the Adrian Mole diaries, but better. Much, much better.
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 28, 2019
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    I could hear the author’s voice in my head and can only conclude that, not only is he a deeply sensitive and highly intelligent individual, he also has an amazing sense of humour. But this wasn't all laughter and hilarity.
    This diary is set 20 years before I went up to high school, yet nothing had changed. Nothing had moved forward. 20 years later, as children on the cusp of adulthood we still suffered the indignity and anxiety of communal showers after PE; the narrow minded teachers who assumed that if you weren’t good at sport then you weren’t good for anything; the system that often put kids on the rubbish heap long before their lives even got started.
    Then there was the heart break of unrequited love, which the author describes perfectly and admits to it having continued to haunt him for much of his adult life. I remember those feelings well. Elated one day, riding the high of love and life, and plummeting to the depths of despair the next. I found that I have a lot in common with the author. I didn’t go to a private school but I suffered much of what he describes. The only difference being that I was in the Air Training Corps whilst he was in the CCF.
    To my shame, I found myself wincing at his declarations of love for another boy, and his continuous battles against himself: one minute planning to tell him how he felt, the next shying away. Not because I believe there is anything wrong with homosexuality. Quite the opposite, in fact; I felt the utmost sympathy for his fear and feelings of helplessness, and my inner school girl was remembering how cruel kids could be, and I was urging him to “don’t do it! Don’t tell him! You’ll regret it! You’ll be vilified and shamed for it, your life will fall to ruin!” This was because my own journey through the pre-adult education system had not exactly been an easy one, and that’s an understatement. I would take a step back at this point in the text and remind myself that he had nothing to be ashamed of and should never have felt the need to hide his true self.
    The author uses his own history to effectively discuss the injustice of labels, and highlight the hypocrisy of society’s expectations and prejudices. Don’t get me wrong; I think that in the right context labels can be useful so I would never demonise them. It’s when they fall into the wrong hands and are misused that they become dangerous. The author is gay, but later on fell in love and married a woman. As he so rightly points out, love ignores orientation: you can’t help who you fall in love with (and neither should you) and no one chooses to be gay or to not be gay. Love is love; it’s as simple as that.
    Things have moved forward a lot since the 1960s, and even since the 80s, but there is still a lot of prejudice and ignorance to tackle. I can only hope that this journal of a teenager’s life, and his battles with a society that refused to understand him, will prise open a few more eyes and lead to a greater understanding of the depths of the human soul.

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