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Cari Silverwood
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The Squirm Files: Squirm, Strum, The Well-hung Gun Kindle Edition

by Cari Silverwood (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
3.4 out of 5 stars 18 ratings
No virgins or tentacles were harmed in the making of this anthology. Batteries not included.

THIS SQUIDALICIOUS BOXSET INCLUDES THE 3 BOOKS FROM THE SQUIRM FILES: SQUIRM, STRUM, AND THE WELL-HUNG GUN.

SQUIRM
For some girls, one tentacle isn't enough.
Having a bad day isn't good but when Virginia Chaste has a bad day, she gets felt up by a tentacle monster.
If it simply has to happen, let it at least be a billionaire and a hot biker.

Virginity isn't all it's cracked up to be and her search for the Holy Grail of Erotic Romance, the ten inch purple-headed schlong, may have finally borne fruit.

STRUM
When a stag party goes terribly wrong, Virginia Chaste loses her memory of all the best bits of her fiancé, Karl whatsisface.

Luckily Dangerous Bob can show her the way.
All she has to do is join Zagan Grimm, rock star and demon, he of the radioactive cock, to retrieve the ultimate sex book, the Necrosexi-texmexicon, from the depths of the Zon.

Then she absolutely has to remember not to have a spectacular, tentacular ménage with Zagan and Karl whatsisface.

THE WELL-HUNG GUN
A kinky western spoof featuring John Beastwood, a hero with six guns and six tentacles.

Virginia Chaste goes back in time to 1860.
Shoving up her sleeves, she marches into Peckerwood Springs determined to find her way back to her future.

She's tired of dodging tobacco spit and hiking through cactus blinged-up desert.

If any damn were-squid gunslinger gets in her way, she’s gonna shove his nearest tentacle up his own whatsit. Back to the future on acid, with a hefty dose of sex and tentacles.
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  1. Print length
    219 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Accessibility
    Learn more
  4. Publication date
    May 9, 2015
  5. File size
    3.0 MB
  6. Page Flip
    Enabled
  7. Word Wise
    Enabled
  8. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
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Editorial Reviews

Review

I died laughing. Squirm was a wonderful discovery and so refreshing to read!
Warning: The consumption of beverages while reading this book will cause serious liquid-out-the-nose splurtage. Jadie

"Squirm" is appropriately titled and one of the most entertaining parodies I've EVER read. It's a true testament to Cari Silverwood's talent that she can make EVEN tentacle-loving hot. VaudevilleMomma

I sat down to "Squirm" last night after having heard from my friends that I would enjoy it. My friends totally undersold it! This book was awesome! Greebo

Tentacles take down the fourth wall for the win! LOVED THIS!
There was literally nothing about this I did not like. I am 100% a dirty tentacle pervert. I laughed so hard I scared my cat, my neighbors, and potentially the Russian mob who may or may not live on the same street as me.

Amazingly original. Wildly hilarious. Insanely awesome.
It was worth the acid trip it took to read this. Shandra Torbett

About the Author

Cari Silverwood is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling writer of kinky darkness or sometimes of dark kinkiness (and sometimes fantasy such as the Magience world books), depending on her moods and the amount of time she's spent staring into the night.
When others are writing bad men doing bad things you may find her writing good men who accidentally on purpose fall into the abyss and come out with their morals twisted in knots. My website, if you're curious about my other evil pursuits: http: //www.carisilverwood.net/ To find out about upcoming releases, please join Cari's mailing list here carisilverwood.net/about-me.htm Facebook: Cari Silverwood Twitter: @CariSilverwood Blog: carisilverwood.net/keyboard-fandango---blog

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00XGNBSFE
  • Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ May 9, 2015
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 3.0 MB
  • Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 219 pages
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Customer Reviews:
    3.4 out of 5 stars 18 ratings

About the author

Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.
Cari Silverwood

Cari Silverwood

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Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

Cari Silverwood lives in Australia and is a New York Times bestselling writer of kinky darkness or sometimes dark kinkiness, depending on her moods and the amount of time she's spent staring into the night.

Check out this page to avoid falling into the wrong dark and shocking book, because she really does write some weird stories: www.carisilverwood.net/my-books-listed-light-to-dark.html

Sign up to get sales and new releases plus various odd stuff she puts into it (and a free welcome book) at www.carisilverwood.net/

You can reach Cari at carisilverwood1@gmail.com

or

on Facebook at www.facebook.com/cari.silverwood

Customer reviews

3.4 out of 5 stars
18 global ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

  • Lisa W
    5.0 out of 5 stars Hysterical!!!!
    Reviewed in the United States on September 15, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    Looking for some quick reads that will have you laughing! The squirm files are the perfect fit! Three parody comedy spoofs so entertaining that you will read more than once and continue to find new favorites each time.

    Squirm---- Wow---Just sit back and enjoy this short story. Cari creates a masterpiece of spoofs including everything from bikers, billionaires, helicopters, ties, gnomes, the search for the elusive 10 incher,rabbits and a sexy naive virgin.

    I laughed until I almost peed myself with this one. It's a perfect fun pick me up read. Oh, but let's not forget our virgin's search leads her to an alien. Yes, an alien with more than the 10 inches she wanted considering he has TENtacles!

    Have fun, just enjoy it and don't worry the rabbit doesn't die-- it just needs new batteries :)

    Strum-- A non stop Hot parody-- First things first, this is a parody. Relax, enjoy and laugh! Laugh enough along with the author that you might need a diaper in case you wet yourself.Strum is more of a continuation of Virginia Chaste’s story from Squirm
    Cari Silverwood manages to inject humor into so many stereotypes and clichés into this story that it is a non-stop rollercoaster of fun.
    “Bitch author. Oops. Think pretty thoughts, think pretty, non-incriminating thoughts.”
    Amazing writing that pulls you in for the journey with a tentacle alien fiancé, a sex demon rock star, books that comes to life, a sidekick that does construction work naked to prove a romance novel male can indeed hammer nails and we can’t forget the “virgin” Virginia Chaste.
    “Even if her panties were damper than a swamp full of alligators in monsoon season, she was still outraged.”
    Crazy lines, wild stories and just a fun must read!

    Well-Hung Gun-Pass the popcorn, because there is definitely something in the water and you don't want to miss its shocking reveal!

    Cari Silverwood creates a whole new adventure for our favorite crazy heroine, Virginia Chaste, who is transported back in time to the Wild West in search of a cure for poor Karl's oh- so deadly "man-cold". Effervescent euphemisms abound as the reader will laugh out loud at the parodies and humor of magic revolvers with limitless bullets that never hit, leather fetish and conniptions of tending the lady garden.

    Grab a seat and enjoy this sexy western comedy poke at so many familiar tales. Just remember to watch out for the 3 p's and 22 weirdest of weird fetishes.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Robin Readye
    4.0 out of 5 stars Definitely a good read!
    Reviewed in the United States on February 11, 2022
    Verified Purchase
    Definitely will continue to read more of your books! Sensual and in-depth pleasure moments!Keep up with strong and definitely sensual moments!
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  • mollnet
    5.0 out of 5 stars So funny
    Reviewed in the United States on March 7, 2023
    Original and funny. So many of the romance books follow a formula and lack of originality is frustrating. This series was a silly fun read. Many thanks to Cari for this!
    One person found this helpful
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  • Brandy
    5.0 out of 5 stars A hilarious parody romance that'll keep you laughing out loud
    Reviewed in the United States on December 12, 2019
    This was such a fun set of books. Who knew hilarious and erotic could both be used to describe a book. This box set was quite entertaining and I really love how different it was compared to other romance/erotica books. These were three quick reads that kept a smile on my face. If you love over the top humor, you'll love these books.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Gab
    4.0 out of 5 stars Suspend your critical mind for a while
    Reviewed in the United States on December 16, 2019
    and give your facial muscles and your diaphragm a workout.
    This is a giggles, guffaws, belly laughs, groans producing tale. There is a thin back-story linking those three stories together, but that is just the adhesive for word acrobatics, sillyness of the highest order, and absolute mayhem with tentacles, suckers, and lots of "exploring" of hidden crevices.
    You better find a soundproof room to read this, you might get strange looks from people around you!
    I did!!!
    2 people found this helpful
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  • SJ Sanders
    5.0 out of 5 stars Delightfully laugh out loud funny!
    Reviewed in the United States on December 12, 2019
    Raunchy, naughty and gut bursting humor, I loved every minute! Cari Silverwood has given me a new appreciation for alien and monster parodies that I never knew I had to begin with. Absolutely wonderful!
    2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Paperback Dinosaur
    5.0 out of 5 stars A laugh a minute
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 15, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    What happens when erotica meets Monty Python? Answer : The Squirm Files! Three stories which are very much a truly hilarious send-up of 'erotic romance'.

    The book is full of lots of 'laugh out loud' moments. Brilliantly written, erotic in the extreme, a total parody and it's a romance! OK, one with tentacles, a demon and ......

    If you are looking for something completely difference (forgive the pun) then look no further than The Squirm Files
    Report
  • nlondonhousewife
    1.0 out of 5 stars Meh
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 5, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    Not really clever enough to describe itself as a parody - it just doesn't flip the narrative well enough - so it falls flat
    Report

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