Dolls Kill - Shop now
Kindle Unlimited
Unlimited reading. Over 4 million titles. Learn more
Read for Free
OR
$5.99 with 65 percent savings
Print List Price: $16.99

Promotions apply when you purchase

These promotions will be applied to this item:

Some promotions may be combined; others are not eligible to be combined with other offers. For details, please see the Terms & Conditions associated with these promotions.

Sold by Amazon.com Services LLC.
Read with our free app
You've subscribed to ! We will preorder your items within 24 hours of when they become available. When new books are released, we'll charge your default payment method for the lowest price available during the pre-order period.
Update your device or payment method, cancel individual pre-orders or your subscription at
Your Memberships & Subscriptions
Kindle app logo image

Download the free Kindle app and start reading Kindle books instantly on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.

Read instantly on your browser with Kindle for Web.

Using your mobile phone camera - scan the code below and download the Kindle app.

QR code to download the Kindle App

Follow the author

Cara Dee
Follow
Something went wrong. Please try your request again later.

If We Could Go Back (Camassia Cove Universe Book 10) Kindle Edition

by Cara Dee (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.6 out of 5 stars 1,748 ratings

Hurt/Comfort | Family | First Time Experience | Standalone
Bennett and Kieran’s story spans over several years and brings the reader along on a journey about loss, futile attempts at fighting their deepest desires, friendship, and surrender.

My sister asked me if I could stand the sight my own reflection, if I’d caused enough damage yet, but I didn’t see myself when I looked into the mirror. I saw Kieran standing behind me, pressing a kiss to my shoulder while he undid my belt. I saw everything I wanted that I couldn’t have. Not unless I was prepared to hurt everyone around me.

Kieran was in a similar situation.

Were we monsters or men? Were they one and the same? Did we give a flying f—hell. We did care. Just not enough to stop, not enough to walk away, and I knew we constantly asked ourselves the same question because of it. If we could go back to when we met on the train, if we could erase the deceit, erase our first hello, would we?

This story takes place in Cara Dee’s Camassia Cove Universe, a fictional town where all books stand on their own, unless otherwise stated, and the reader can jump in wherever they want.


Read more
Previous slide of product details
  1. Book 10 of 17
    Camassia Cove Universe
  2. Print length
    367 pages
  3. Language
    English
  4. Accessibility
    Learn more
  5. Publication date
    April 29, 2019
  6. File size
    557 KB
  7. Page Flip
    Enabled
  8. Word Wise
    Enabled
  9. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
Next slide of product details

Shop this series

 See full series
There are 17 books in this series.

Customers also bought or read

Page 1 of 1Start over
Previous page
  2. Noah (Breaking Free)
    Kindle Edition
    $5.99
  3. Unshackled (The Irish of Philly)
    Kindle Edition
    $6.99
  5. Aftermath
    Kindle Edition
    $4.99
  6. Estranged Heart
    Kindle Edition
    $4.99
  7. The Good Liar (Infidelity #1)
    Kindle Edition
    $2.99
  9. Arrows Through Archer
    Kindle Edition
    $5.99
  13. Echoes of Us
    Kindle Edition
    $4.99
  18. Until You
    Kindle Edition
    $5.99
  21. the boy who loved Wicked
    Kindle Edition
    $4.99
  23. The Sound Of Us
    Kindle Edition
    $3.99
  25. Kismet
    Kindle Edition
    $5.99
  26. Head Above Water
    Kindle Edition
    $5.99
  28. Want You Still
    Kindle Edition
    $5.99
  29. Never Leave, Never Lie
    Kindle Edition
    $2.99
Next page
Loading...

From the Publisher

Angst
Family
HEA

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B07R68NBXN
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Self
  • Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ April 29, 2019
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 557 KB
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 367 pages
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Book 10 of 17 ‏ : ‎ Camassia Cove Universe
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 out of 5 stars 1,748 ratings

About the author

Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.
Cara Dee

Cara Dee

Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.
Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

Romance Across the Spectrum.

I’m often awkwardly silent or, if the topic interests me, a chronic rambler. In other words, I can discuss writing forever and ever. Fiction, in particular. The love story—while a huge draw and constantly present—is secondary for me, because there’s so much more to writing romance fiction than just making two (or more) people fall in love and have hot sex.

There’s a world to build, characters to develop, interests to create, and a topic or two to research thoroughly.

Every book is a challenge for me, an opportunity to learn something new, and a puzzle to piece together. I want my characters to come to life, and the only way I know to do that is to give them substance—passions, history, goals, quirks, and strong opinions—and to let them evolve.

I want my men and women to be relatable. That means allowing room for everyday problems and, for lack of a better word, flaws. My characters will never be perfect.

Wait…this was supposed to be about me, not my writing.

I'm a writey person who loves to write. Always wanderlusting, twitterpating, kinking, cooking, baking, and geeking. There’s time for hockey and family, too. But mostly, I just love to write.

~Cara.

Get social with Cara

www.caradeewrites.com

www.camassiacove.com

Facebook: @caradeewrites

Twitter: @caradeewrites

Instagram: @caradeewrites

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
1,748 global ratings

Review this product

Share your thoughts with other customers
Write a customer review

Customers say

Customers find this book to be a beautiful love story with a realistic storyline, and they appreciate how it immerses readers in the characters' happiness and heartache. Moreover, the characters are compelling, and the writing style is well-executed, with one customer noting it reads easily as a standalone within the series. Additionally, customers describe the book as a steamy read with intense scenes, and one review mentions it's a great choice for a weekend with nothing planned.

Select to learn more

Story qualityEmotional contentReadabilityCharacter developmentWriting styleSteamy contentAnger level
56 customers mention "Story quality"50 positive6 negative

Customers enjoy the beautiful love story in this book, which is written in a realistic way and features Benjamin and Kieran's narrative.

"...I wanted to more after the end because the story is remarkably powerful. 5 stars for a realistic, powerful and captivating story!" Read more

"...Their relationship was both beautiful and heartbreaking. Their story is so emotional...." Read more

"This was a great story of how love will conquer all. I know others didn't agree with the cheating aspect but I show how !..." Read more

"...takes on some hard opics and it's messy and there's hurt but also pure love and second chances...." Read more

54 customers mention "Emotional content"46 positive8 negative

Customers appreciate the emotional depth of the book, describing it as a heartfelt journey filled with both happiness and heartache, and they find it relatable.

"...It’s an engrossing and rollercoaster of emotions book that I read in one sitting because I couldn’t set it aside...." Read more

"...Their relationship was both beautiful and heartbreaking. Their story is so emotional...." Read more

"...This was a strong, sweet romance, with a lot of angst, and some serious feels. It is everything I've come to expect from Cara Dee...." Read more

"...Hope for acceptance and hope for love and family. I also love when stories about lost souls who find each other when they least intend to...." Read more

49 customers mention "Readability"49 positive0 negative

Customers find the book highly readable and enjoyable, particularly noting that it's a great read for a weekend with nothing planned.

"...from two strangers on a train to where they ended up, but it was worth every moment...." Read more

"...Overall, I liked the MMCs, but grappled with my feelings toward their relationship together and with their wives...." Read more

"...But I loved the book and I got super invested in the relationship and cried with them and I just wanted to see them happy." Read more

"...But that aside, it is a beautiful love story that I was so happy to read. The pining! The build up! The support of each other. Ugh!..." Read more

39 customers mention "Character development"36 positive3 negative

Customers find the characters compelling, particularly Kieran and Bennett, with one customer noting the tangible attraction between them.

"...The character development of the main characters is so deep that I couldn’t help but connect with them both, feeling both of their own experiences..." Read more

"...Give me the spice! I also really liked a few side characters as well as the kids. It made me excited to read more within the series...." Read more

"...It was just as good this time around! I absolutely loved Ben and Kieran. Their story made you feel like you were there with them...." Read more

"...does have steamy scenes, and there's certainly a tangible attraction between Kieran and Bennett, but the book focuses more on their emotional journey...." Read more

29 customers mention "Writing style"29 positive0 negative

Customers praise the writing style of the book, finding it well-crafted, with one customer noting it reads easily as a standalone within the series.

"...I didn’t feel like a bystander because of the vividness of the writing...." Read more

"...is part of a series I do have to say that this read very easily as a standalone within a series and I did not feel like I was missing anyone's..." Read more

"...I can’t say enough about how well it was written." Read more

"...Despite all that, as I mentioned at the beginning, the book is very well written, which I have come to expect from Cara Dee...." Read more

14 customers mention "Steamy content"14 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the steamy content of the book, describing it as sexy and elegant, with one customer noting the intense sex scenes.

"...It does have steamy scenes, and there's certainly a tangible attraction between Kieran and Bennett, but the book focuses more on their emotional..." Read more

"...get caught up in the intense love, passion, humor, deep hurt, and beautiful family. You can't rate that level of connection high enough...." Read more

"...It was overall pretty sweet. The writing style also gets easier after the first few chapters." Read more

"This was such a tough book to read. It was beautiful and brilliantly written. But the emotional roller coaster was real and heartwrenching...." Read more

3 customers mention "Anger level"3 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the level of anger in the book.

"...This story made me feel happy, sad, angry, conflicted. It gave me hope...." Read more

"...This book I added tears, grief and anger, as well as excitement and a sense of well being when everything worked out for the guys...." Read more

"A nuanced story, with poignancy, regret, pain and anger layered with attraction, desire, love and acceptance...." Read more

My heart is full ❤️❤️❤️
5 out of 5 stars
My heart is full ❤️❤️❤️
*4.5 stars* WOW! What a great read by Cara Dee. I felt a complete range of emotions throughout Bennett and Kieran's journey. It was not easy, it was not all hearts and flowers, neither of them took their situation lightly and that made me love them even more! I'm sure most of us can agree that cheating on a spouse is an absolute hard limit. Many stay away from this type of genre. Cara Dee handles the unlikely relationship between these two men with respect and sensitivity. I focused on the development of their relationship, not the cheating. I don't know what that says about me, but the connection between them spoke volumes. Their relationship was so much more than sexual. Sometimes people make decisions in life for the wrong reasons and it simply doesn't work out. That is the case here. These men, like many others, have children to think about and they did not take their responsibilities without purposeful thought. Ben and Kieran were believable characters. There wasn't any unnecessary drama, above and beyond what these two grappled with. Their connection bounced off the pages. I felt their struggles and guilt in my heart, but also their joy and undeniable happiness in finding one another. My heart is full, I loved these two ❤️ #loveislove
Hide
Thank you for your feedback
Sorry, there was an error
Sorry we couldn't load the review

Top reviews from the United States

  • Adagio
    5.0 out of 5 stars Realistic, powerful and captivating!
    Reviewed in the United States on April 29, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    Cara Dee delivers on a raw and emotional romance story. The book is not your typical romance because she makes everything so realistic; it’s messy and sometimes painful. In essence it shows how love can be imperfectly perfect.

    The character development of the main characters is so deep that I couldn’t help but connect with them both, feeling both of their own experiences and their entwined story. The chemistry between these two leaps off the pages, I wasn’t sure my kindle could handle it! Since this happens in a world Cara Dee has created before, I was already familiar with it. It was consistent world building and the author managed to add even more details.

    It’s their story that makes me ache so much. It was impossible to not become invested. I didn’t feel like a bystander because of the vividness of the writing. There’s times I cried or wanted the characters to make different decisions but that’s what makes it amazing. The fact the characters weren’t perfect and the love wasn’t easy highlights Cara Dee’s insight into humanity and love. Reading her books feels like a balm onto my soul, a way to grow even. This book is no different because it pushed so much. It’s an engrossing and rollercoaster of emotions book that I read in one sitting because I couldn’t set it aside. I wanted to more after the end because the story is remarkably powerful.

    5 stars for a realistic, powerful and captivating story!
    19 people found this helpful
    Helpful
     Report
  • Stephanie (BookBirches)
    5.0 out of 5 stars Unexpectedly Good
    Reviewed in the United States on March 26, 2023
    Verified Purchase
    I may have stayed up until almost 3am so I could finish this book. I have no regrets. I picked up, If We Could Go Back, randomly. I knew nothing about the book, and to say I became hooked immediately would be an understatement.

    I fell in love with Kieran and Bennett from that first moment on the train. I was completely invested in these two finding their hea. Their relationship was both beautiful and heartbreaking. Their story is so emotional. These two found friendship in each other when they needed it the most. It takes years of confusion, hurt, and turmoil before they realize there is so much more than just an amazing friendship between the two. It was a long journey to get from two strangers on a train to where they ended up, but it was worth every moment.

    One of my favorite things about this book was the kids. I could feel the bond they shared with each of them. The kids were as much a part of their relationship and growth as each other were, and it was perfection.

    If We Could Go Back is one of those books that will stay with me for a long time to come. I can't recommend it enough!
    One person found this helpful
    Helpful
     Report
  • AlohaD
    4.0 out of 5 stars Complicated relationship that was beautiful
    Reviewed in the United States on August 18, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    "You give me air. I can be myself."

    If We Could Go Back by Cara Dee is my first book this author, but I will probably check out more by her, especially in this Camassia Cove world.

    Kieran and Bennett are two men that are married, but living lives that are not complete. Not fully happy. When they meet on the train to work, they form a sort of friendship that evolves over time. I appreciated how Dee developed the relationship between these two men. They had so much in common with their kids, work life and home life, but also very different. They could relate to one another. And if you're an adult that is looking to make friends as you get older, you know how difficult it can be. Their friendship spills over into their marriages and kids and everyone is soon connected. But when after work drinks turns into alley shenanigans and truths being spilled, everything changes.

    While I'm not one to condone cheating in real life, I actually don't mind it in books. I want that push and pull and angst. I want that forbidden. I want to feel the whys of it all. Because we honestly don't know what someone is going through. And Cara Dee did it well with two men that gave into their building feelings and attraction. Their lives and marriages weren't exactly a front, but there were reasons they were in the predicaments they were in. I also appreciated how this wasn't as easy as being gay. It was complicated, involved families and so much more.

    If We Could Go Backis told completely from Bennett's POV and is told over a few years. While I appreciated the years that went by and how this wasn't an insta sort of relationship, I think I would've liked it even more to have even just a bit of Kieran's POV thrown in occasionally. I understood why it was from Bennett, but when it comes to romances, I like to hear from both characters. Since this was told over the years, you could feel everything building until it all comes to a boiling point and things explode. How was everyone and everything going to land after everything came to a head?

    Overall, I liked the MMCs, but grappled with my feelings toward their relationship together and with their wives. Even though their wives weren't exactly perfect (I especially wasn't the biggest fan of Bennett's wife), it was difficult to see relationships break down. With that, I appreciated that the author made their story be over years to see how it changed and evolved and it wasn't immediate. But man, did I want some more spicy scenes! Give me the spice! I also really liked a few side characters as well as the kids. It made me excited to read more within the series. And since this is part of a series I do have to say that this read very easily as a standalone within a series and I did not feel like I was missing anyone's backstory.
    I am looking forward to reading more from this author and hopefully a few of the side characters we met in this one.
    Helpful
     Report
  • Tina Clark
    5.0 out of 5 stars Heartwarming
    Reviewed in the United States on April 28, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    This was a great story of how love will conquer all. I know others didn't agree with the cheating aspect but I show how !such these guys were trying to keep up appearances and think of others. In the end it worked out best for all.
    Helpful
     Report
  • Dan Baxley
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great Read
    Reviewed in the United States on January 14, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    This is actually the 2nd time I’ve read this book. It was just as good this time around! I absolutely loved Ben and Kieran. Their story made you feel like you were there with them. I can’t say enough about how well it was written.
    Helpful
     Report

Top reviews from other countries

Translate all reviews to English
  • M
    5.0 out of 5 stars I've gone delirious
    Reviewed in Canada on April 29, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    I freaking loved it. Seriously, I'm starting to question my sanity, cause it seems that Cara Dee can do no wrong when it comes to writing.
    Strong characters that made me feel alllll the feels. Angsty, happy, sad, melancholy, giddy, hurt, resigned, hopeful.... legit all the damn feels.
    Realistic with a touch of fantasy.... she doesn't sugar coat the issues the characters have, but works with them in order to make them as complete and as real as possible. It's definitely not all happy-go-lucky, but believe me, it's one hell of a ride, one you'll want to ride again and again.
    Kieran and Ben are strangers that slowly morph to friends then to neighbours and then more. Only they both have kids and a wife. Neither are truly happy though, and the journey follows them through their ups and downs and all arounds.
    There is a happily-ever-after but it's not an easy journey - though it's worth it in the end.
    Report
  • emse
    5.0 out of 5 stars Wunderschöne
    Reviewed in Germany on May 5, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    und herzzerreißende Story . Wie alle anderen Büchern von Cara Dee, die ich bis jetzt gelesen habe, ist auch diese Buch keine null acht fünfzig Geschichte . Man leidet und lebt die Ereignisse mit .
    Report
  • NPB
    5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it
    Reviewed in France on May 8, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    I really enjoyed this book , both characters are real, a bit troubled and the kids were awesome . Although there is cheating the wives played their roles in that . Try it , you will not be disappointed.
    Report
  • Larwos
    5.0 out of 5 stars slow and sweet romance.
    Reviewed in Australia on June 19, 2022
    Verified Purchase
    What a lovely, slow burning romance!
    Two (married) men on a train, slowly becoming friends and then!
    I am definitely one for fidelity, so I’m surprised I loved this book so much, but the characters are so beautifully drawn, I could see Jess thumping down the stairs, yelling his joy, otpr anger. I could picture brilliant Nate, getting frustrated because his teachers asked the wrong questions and Maggie, filling her life with good deeds to cover her empty life. Jay Lin, mercurial little girl, and Allison, selfish and self absorbed, along with Pop, who had a secret of his own, what a cast, and what a wonderful story!
    Bennet, as the narrator, was kind, stressed, clever and funny, and Kieran, bright, and funny, and deep and so, so, kind. whilst carrying such a burden made a lovely couple. I’m so glad this was recommended to me as a love story for the ages, and Cara Der is now added to preferred authors of romance.
    Report
  • Katie66219
    5.0 out of 5 stars Even better the second time around
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 29, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    The first time I read this I liked it. Rereading it almost five years later, I loved it. This is one of those books which subtly immerses you into the story. I couldn’t recall Camassia Cove when I picked it up last night. By the time I reached the end of this story, I didn’t want to leave it. Thankfully there are many more books in this series, so I can stay in this fictional land for a while longer.
    Report

Report an issue


Does this item contain inappropriate content?
Report
Do you believe that this item violates a copyright?
Report
Does this item contain quality or formatting issues?
Report