Raising Hell

A clueless optimist ruins a perfectly good hell.


Pity poor Lucifer. He rules hell with a vice grip. Demons and damned scatter at the sound of his foot steps. The Supreme Butt In hasn’t pestered him in eons. Lucifer’s future looks perfect, pitch black, until an administrative error sticks him with an innocent soul—an overweight optimist who calls himself Pilgrim and who believes he must be in hell to do good.

Lucifer never considers sending him back. Why waste a second chance to corrupt an innocent soul? He orders his subordinates to torture, degrade and humiliate Pilgrim until he promises to become evil if only it will ease the pain. Unfortunately, Pilgrim makes the best of the worst possible experiences. Always polite and well-mannered, he makes Pollyanna seem like a prophet of doom. Even worse, the damned start catching on, and set about making hell into the most enjoyable place of everlasting torment they can.

Lucifer can’t let Pilgrim continue to wreak happiness, but he can’t send him back untainted, either. When God arrives with a deadline for Pilgrim’s return, he enlists fellow fallen angels Screwtape, Azazel and the gender morphing Mephistopheles in a plot to corrupt Pilgrim’s soul before the deadline expires. 


But don’t take our word. Listen to the critics:*


Reviews:


Stephen King: Think Dante meets the Road Runner.

Terry Pratchett: I could never make torture this funny.

Douglas Addams: The one book I'm keeping in the afterlife.

Ernie Krantz (10th Grader): Reed OM iPad Nclass. Teachr thinks im takng notz. TNTLOL. BT algebra or history. But so is PYN, STM and L4 upskirts.


*Not to be confused with popular authors of the same names.


Disclaimer: No cats were injured or neglected during the writing of this novel.


Parental advisory: This book contains a little sexual innuendo and lots of graphic comic violence. This makes it perfectly acceptable for children.