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The Secret of Maturity, Third Edition Kindle Edition
- How To Live a Mature Life
- How To Own the Power of Emotional Responsibility
- How To Stop Buying into Garbage
- This book describes maturity in understandable and practical terms.
- If you want to know what it means to be mature, this book is for you.
- If you want to know how to live a mature life, this book is for you.
- If you want to grow up or know what it means to grow up, this book is for you.
- With all our means of communication and education, how is it possible that many fundamental concepts and principles continue to remain a secret or a mystery to most people?
- What kind of educational system can call itself "education" and fail to discuss and explore fundamental human qualities like maturity?
- The research for this book uncovered a myriad of ways of approaching the same basic answer for the secret of maturity: maturity is responsibility.
- Most of the answers to "What is maturity?" come from either psychology or philosophy.
- The answers are listed or briefly described throughout the text.
- It is your job to decide what to do with all the answers.
- Start practicing what you understand, and more will come to you.
- Quite a few of the paragraphs in this book summarize concepts that are expounded in entire volumes elsewhere.
- Since this book is so condensed, it will be most effective when it is revisited after more experience of practicing maturity.
- Might we suggest that you first pursue those concepts that strike you as personally relevant?
- They will do you the most good today because those concepts will be emotionally valuable to you.
- Read the suggested references to those concepts, and locate other related works at the library or through Internet searches.
- If you learn and apply the lessons contained in this book, results are guaranteed.
- Anyone who learns to live maturely will find that he or she is in better health because he or she can handle stress better.
- Anyone who learns to live maturely will find that he or she has a better love life because he or she can handle interpersonal relationships and communication better.
- Anyone who learns to live maturely will find that he or she has a better career or work experience because he or she can better handle challenges, conflicts, stressors, work politics, and work pressures.
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Editorial Reviews
About the Author
Mr. FitzMaurice has a variety of formal and advanced training in counseling, which includes Addictions Counseling, Family Therapy, advanced Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), Transactional Analysis (TA), and over 1300 hours of diverse training for continuing education units (CEUs). To make the best use of that extensive training, he takes an integrative approach, grounding himself in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and using the other theories to build upon that one core theory, rather than focusing on multiple theories and mastering none of them.
After more than twenty years in counseling, Mr. FitzMaurice has worked four years in the substance abuse field, directed two community mental health programs, and spent fourteen years counseling in private practice. In that time, he has refined many principles for and methods of counseling. He now puts those principles and methods into book form to share them with a wider audience, so more people can benefit than he can reach in person. Currently, he has more than twenty books written, most of which are available worldwide as e-books from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Sony, Google, Kobo, and Apple.
Product details
- ASIN : B00A7C28LA
- Publisher : FitzMaurice Publishers
- Publication date : November 13, 2012
- Language : English
- File size : 1.3 MB
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Not Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 110 pages
- ISBN-13 : 978-1878693310
- Page Flip : Enabled
- Reading age : 16 - 18 years
- Best Sellers Rank: #726,157 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #3,904 in Motivational Self-Help (Kindle Store)
- #8,195 in Self-Help (Kindle Store)
- #12,782 in Motivational Self-Help (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Whether as a person’s counselor or as a founding member of facilities for the homeless, Kevin Everett FitzMaurice, M.S., seeks to make others’ lives better by helping them improve how they function. As a volunteer, he supports community services to improve others’ living conditions. As a counselor, he counsels in the traditional sense: advising, directing, and nudging—or pushing—others into facing and resolving their issues.
Mr. FitzMaurice has a variety of formal and advanced training in counseling, which includes Addictions Counseling, Family Therapy, advanced Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), Transactional Analysis (TA), and over 1,650 hours of diverse training for continuing education units (CEUs). To make the best use of that extensive training, he takes an integrative approach, grounding himself in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (REBT and CBT) and using the other theories to build upon that one core theory, rather than focusing on multiple theories and mastering none of them.
After more than twenty-five years in counseling, Mr. FitzMaurice has worked in the substance abuse field, directed two community mental health programs, and spent many years counseling in private practice. In that time, he has refined many principles for and methods of counseling. He now puts those methods, principles, and techniques into book form to share them with a broader audience, so more people can benefit than he can reach in person. Currently, he has more than forty books written, more than thirty of which are available worldwide as e-books from Amazon, Barnes&Noble, Google, Kobo, and Apple.
The philosophical odyssey of Mr. FitzMaurice began in the late ’60s. It has remained a mostly self-taught pursuit, with little formal training or education in philosophy. The odyssey started with Western philosophy and a study of pragmatism and atheism. For example, he read every work of Nietzsche that had been translated into English at that time. From there, he moved to the study of Zen, Buddhism, Hinduism, and a misguided experimentation with psychedelics to achieve states of superconsciousness. He continued into Eastern philosophy, pursuing Taoism and J. Krishnamurti.
Next came a study of Christianity that consisted of seven readings of the Old Testament and nine readings of the New Testament, from cover to cover and word for word. This study was followed by a formal survey of Western psychology. The ongoing influences for FitzMaurice’s thinking continue to be Christianity, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (REBT), General Semantics, and an Eastern combination of Taoism, J. Krishnamurti, Yoga, and Zen.
Academic Credentials: Master of Science (M.S.) in guidance and counseling, with a specialization in agency counseling, from the University of Nebraska. Associate of applied science in human services—chemical dependency counseling (with honors), from Metropolitan Community College.
National Certifications: National Certified Counselor (NCC) [active for 20+ years, now expired]; Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor (CCMHC) [active for 20+ years, now lapsed]; Family Certification in REBT; Primary Certification in REBT; and Advanced Certification in REBT.
State Certifications: Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor and Certified Gambling Addiction Counselor in the state of Nebraska. Both were allowed to lapse.
State Licensure: Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in Oregon [lapsed in 2018]; previously Licensed Independent Mental Health Practitioner (LIMHP) in Nebraska; and previously Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) in Iowa.
Community Service: One of the founders of the Francis House, Siena House, and Stephen Center homeless facilities still in operation in Nebraska. Organizer of free yoga classes for 4–5 years in his local community before moving.
Recommended Organizations for World Change: Fellowship for Intentional Community (ic.org), The Cohousing Association of the United States (cohousing.org), The Federation of Egalitarian Communities (thefec.org), Global Ecovillage Network (ecovillage.org), NuMundo (numundo.org), North American Students of Cooperation (nasco.coop).
READING LIST FOR 7 STEPS TO SANITY
Note: You can move around the steps and work on any one; however, progress does depend on doing each step.
Step 1: Practice Emotional Responsibility
The first step on the path to sanity is emotional responsibility.
1. To begin your understanding of emotional responsibility, read "Secret of Maturity, Fourth Edition."
2. To advance your understanding of emotional responsibility, read "Garden."
3. If you want to focus on your attitude and emotional responsibility, then read "Attitude Is All You Need! Second Edition."
4. If you are stuck in drama games as a lifestyle or if your family is stuck in a cycle of dealing with social services or the criminal justice system, then read "Garbage Rules." This book is also appropriate for those in early recovery, self-help, and 12-step groups.
5. Professionals who want to advance their counseling skills regarding emotional responsibility should read both "Garden" and "Not."
6. Anyone who wants the highest level of emotional skill and maturity should read "Stiffer: Stoic Mind."
Step 2: Upgrade Coping & Problem-Solving
Coping and problem-solving skills are needed at every stage on the path of returning to sanity. We are not born with these skills, and few of us have been formally taught them. Therefore it is logical and practical to pursue a complete understanding of them.
1. "Stress for Success, Second Edition" will help you to learn how to make stress work for you instead of against you.
2. "Breathe" will give you easy and simple exercises to instantly calm and center yourself in any situation.
3. "Garden" will teach you advanced coping skills that you can practice until they become habits.
4. "Problem Solved! 3Rs" will help you master problem-solving skills using a tried and true system.
5. "World Within: The Inner Life" will teach you about your inner life and how to make it work and keep it working positively and productively.
6. "Not" addresses the underlying problem of why coping and problem-solving fail.
Step 3. Discover & Reduce Ego Control
The third step on the path to sanity is to recognize the ego as the problem in all things.
1. To begin to understand how ego is your problem, read "Ego." This book requires you to be aware of your self-talk (inner dialogue).
2. To become more aware of your self-talk, first read "Garden."
3. To support and reinforce the work you learn to practice in "Ego," read both "What’s Your Story?" and "Journal Journey from Ego."
4. To gain more insight into the false beliefs and thinking errors of self-esteem and ego, read "Planet Earth: Insane Asylum for the Universe, Second Edition."
5. To understand the ego in social relationships, read "Games Ego Plays."
6. To develop greater insight into ego and skills in spotting ego, read "Ego Playground."
Step 4. Rediscover Authentic Self
The fourth step is to strengthen your understanding of your original nature.
1. Learn how you are not your self-talk by reading "Ego."
2. Strengthen your understanding of your original nature by reading "Self: Who Am I?"
3. Strengthen your understanding of your identity by reading "World Within: The Inner Life."
Step 5. Upgrade Thinking Skills
Thinking skills are needed at every stage of life. We are not born with these skills, and few of us have been formally taught them. Therefore it is logical and practical to pursue a complete understanding of thinking skills.
1. "Attitude Is All You Need! Second Edition" will help you to develop thinking skills in relation to your attitudes.
2. "Discovery Demands 5TP" will help you build your perspective-taking skills, which will empower you to be able to see more sides to any issue or problem.
3. "Garden" will teach you thinking skills from a CBT and REBT perspective.
4. "Not" addresses a specific and pervasive thinking problem (no-ting).
5. "Planet Earth: Insane Asylum for the Universe, Second Edition" will help you to recognize self-defeating belief systems.
6. "We’re All Insane! Second Edition" will help you to understand and apply General Semantics principles to the development of your thinking skills.
7. "World Within: The Inner Life" will teach you about dialectics, duality, triality, the 5 Thinking Positions (5TP), and advanced thinking skills.
8. "Stiffer: Stoic Mind" will teach you the nature of thinking and emotions and how to make them both work for you.
Step 6: More Responsibility & Less Ego
These books support and reinforce your learnings about emotions, ego, and self in various ways. All of these ways will help you to stay on the path of increasing your emotional responsibility and lessening your time spent on ego.
1. "Planet Earth: Insane Asylum for the Universe, Second Edition" will help you to face and surrender self-esteem, faulty belief systems, thinking errors, and games.
2. "We’re All Insane! Second Edition" will help you to understand and apply General Semantics principles to your practice of recognizing, removing, and replacing your ego.
3. Other titles are collections of ideas and sayings that will help you to understand all of the principles of these steps from various perspectives and through different expressions. These include "Acid Test," "Anything Goes," "Something For Nothing," and books in the "3D: Daily Dose of Discernment series."
Step 7: Improve World & Communication
These books will improve your communication skills and help you to understand and deal with social systems.
1. "Planet Earth: Insane Asylum for the Universe, Second Edition" will help you to face and surrender socially accepted insanity.
2. "How To Govern Anything" is for those who want to discover and practice a saner system of governing any size organization or country.
3. "Carl Rogers, Control Freak" is for professional counselors interested in applying Carl Rogers’ primary technique.
• Share, Encourage, & Support: Please help others to recognize and walk the path of emotional responsibility and ego reduction by recommending our books and practices. Thank you.
Customer reviews
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- Reviewed in the United States on May 17, 2013I didn't expect very much at first because the book is relatively short (considering the complexity of this subject) and only costs a dollar, but nothing I can say about this book can do it justice!
The book is short but very insightful and substantial. Kevin Fitzmaurice's writing is accessible and eloquent with condensed material from psychological studies and references quotes and books from Goethe, Søren Kierkegaard, Viktor Frankl, and Albert Ellis among other philosophers and psychologists.
Most readers can probably finish this book in 3 days or less, especially if you have a Kindle (which I don't), but you will probably want to take more time to absorb the material and grow (the reason you would get the book in the first place). This book has already helped me to be wiser and more secure. I will probably read it several more times.
If you read this book and want to go deeper, I also recommend Garbage Rules which is a little more expensive, but really worth it.
- Reviewed in the United States on May 26, 2014I can't believe how good this book is. It is scholarly and very in depth. You need to read it slowly because this is not fluff. This goes very deeply into what emotional maturity is, as well as steps to grow. I am only now realizing how I needed to learn all of this stuff when I was growing up, instead of now. I see how I have suffered from my lack of maturity. Oh well, better late than never.
Can you laugh at your own mistakes? Are your feelings your identity? Are you ruled by your emotions? Do you know how not to feed destructive thoughts and ignore or redirect them?
This book goes into this a much much more. It's only a buck! I think it's a teaser to buy other books by him. So at least take the teaser, its practically free. I will check out his other works.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2015I come to this party a little late; I now need to go back and get myself across volume one and two.
Kevin FitzMaurice is stunningly truthful with his assessment of maturity; which means you really need to be very open and honest with yourself as you take his words on board.
A course of this in high school could make our teens better prepared for life and if not better prepared certainly more aware of them selves and all things around them.
You can not find better value for money on the web and better advice then what is written inside its covers.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 26, 2014This book is a great help for people who feel sane in a crazy world ,
or for people struggling with interpersonal or personal experiences/relationships.
The keys to maturity define and states clearly how to maintain and practice a mature life style.
The book also provides ways to check up on your own progress from time to time. Which is what I find the most helpful of all.
I'm looking forward to reading other titles by, "Kevin Fitzmaurice", in particular "Ego".
- Reviewed in the United States on November 30, 2019I thoroughly enjoyed this book on maturity. I rarely kick my own self in the behind because I'm just getting this. Reading this has definitely helped me to grow up in many areas of my life. Better late than never.
- Reviewed in the United States on May 17, 2014We are living in the world of old people but not mature. This book will help to know and walk along the way to maturity.
- Reviewed in the United States on April 22, 2016Great book for everyone who are willing to know what is maturity. I have recognized a lot of patterns in this universal book.
- Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2013i wish i could have found this book when i was much younger.I have now a much better idea of what is maturity.
Top reviews from other countries
- Heewon ParkReviewed in Canada on May 13, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing book!
A must read book with a lot of insights.
- Kindle CustomerReviewed in Australia on February 19, 2021
4.0 out of 5 stars A lot to think about.
This book has a lot of ideas, information and explanation of what maturity is and how to get there. I don't know how to critique it. I have read a lot of books including a few the author recommends and quotes but there is a lot in this book I don't think I have come across before. I don't know how to assess how valid these ideas are but I think they will be a new direction or directions to explore so it has been worth reading. It is well written and while I don't share some of the points of view I have learnt some things that I think will be helpful.