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Redefining Normal : How Two Foster Kids Beat The Odds and Discovered Healing, Happiness and Love Kindle Edition
Growing up, they didn’t believe they had a future. Together, they are building forever.
Alexis Black persevered through her mother’s death and her father’s imprisonment. And after escaping a long and abusive relationship, the college junior promised her foster parents not to date for at least a year. But when she meets an incoming freshman on the first day of their scholarship program, she feels the world melt away, as though it were only the two of them in the room.
Justin Black lived in the poorest section of Detroit before his parents surrendered him to the foster care system at the age of nine. But when he grabs the chance for better opportunities by pursuing higher education, he can’t help but be drawn to a beautiful third-year student. At first, their past traumas--and their age difference--conspired to complicate their attraction. But the joy each took in the other and eventually conquered those obstacles, and these two survivors journeyed together toward healing.
In a stark and wholehearted true story that shares how two individuals on separate paths found each other, Alexis and Justin merge their course into one full of hope and purpose. And hand-in-hand, with a desire to help others, they learned to reject the abusive patterns of their past, thereby intentionally breaking the cycle of generational violence and unhealthy behaviors.
Written in an engaging novelistic style, the authors put forward a thoughtful exchange of ideas and personal experiences illustrating how anybody, no matter their backgrounds, can have a life of self-empowerment and joy. Broken down into four sections that cover crucial topics such as “Worthiness” and “Mental Health,” this compelling narrative will help any who are learning to love themselves and want to end the line of toxic relationships.
Redefining Normal: How Two Foster Kids Beat The Odds and Discovered Healing, Happiness and Love is a page-turning memoir that will open your eyes to possibilities and dreams. If you like honest tales of triumph, refreshing transparency, and resilient faith in God, then you’ll adore Justin and Alexis’ inspirational story.
This story contains mentions of domestic violence, trauma, sexual assault, and other difficult issues faced on the road to healing.
Buy Redefining Normal to claim victory over harmful pasts today!
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication dateOctober 31, 2020
- File size9.4 MB
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Editorial Reviews
Review
About the Author
Alexis Black a recent graduate of Western Michigan University where she earned a BBA in Entrepreneurship, a BA in Global & International Studies, a certificate in Nonprofit Leadership, and a minor in Political Science. In 2016, she founded The Scholarship Expert business that consists of The Scholarship Blueprint book and workbooks along with an online course to assist students in graduating from college debt-free. Born in Flint, Michigan, Alexis is a foster care advocate as she's completed an internship at the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute, and as a National Youth and Transition Database Reviewer and helps fundraise for programs supporting foster youth such as Hope Pkgs. She loves to travel and sleep on her downtime. She's studied abroad eight times during her undergraduate career in countries such as Hong Kong, South Korea, and South Africa. Alexis aspires to be a positive example for foster youth.
Product details
- ASIN : B08MDHZ5KZ
- Publisher : Global Perspectives Publishing (October 31, 2020)
- Publication date : October 31, 2020
- Language : English
- File size : 9.4 MB
- Simultaneous device usage : Unlimited
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 312 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: #644,184 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #232 in Adoption (Kindle Store)
- #3,243 in Motivational Self-Help (Kindle Store)
- #3,385 in Parenting & Relationships (Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Alexis Lenderman-Black is a serial entrepreneur, bestselling author, and speaker who has been recognized as part of Forbes Next 1000. She currently co-operates 4 companies with her husband and published the award-winning, bestselling book Redefining Normal: How Two Foster Kids Beat The Odds and Discovered Healing, Happiness and Love that they’ve turned into a company, Redefining Normal. She hopes to continue the conversations on breaking generational patterns and healing to help others live a life worth living.
Customer reviews
Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.
To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book inspiring and hopeful. They describe it as a compelling, emotional read that takes readers on an emotional journey. The memoir portrays resilience, courage, and vulnerability in its account of Alexis and Justin's lives. Readers appreciate the inclusion of statistics and facts to support the story. Overall, they find the book eye-opening and transparent.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book inspiring and hopeful. They say it provides helpful advice and motivation to improve one's treatment of others. The book helps readers reevaluate their own experiences and relationships.
"...Marcy Pusey and Rob Scheer were both beautiful, and provides some insight from a foster parent and a former foster kid who became a foster parent..." Read more
"...This book is a great motivator to treat others a little bit better than we’ve done before." Read more
"Great book about hope and resilience! These two are so incredible and doing the hard work to stop the cycle of trauma...." Read more
"...It provides oodles of helps, answers and wonderful life altering advice...." Read more
Customers find the book compelling and engaging. They describe it as an eye-opening, inspiring read with a beautiful narrative that grapples with trauma. The stories empower foster youth and provide a much-needed sharing of true events that happens to thousands of other children.
"...If you work with kids who have experienced trauma, this is a must read. If you work with any other humans, this is a must read...." Read more
"...Well worth the time and money to read." Read more
"...It’s a much needed sharing of true events that happens to thousands of other children across the world but not enough people speak it out...." Read more
"...who have gone through the "system" and experienced trauma, this book is a must-read...." Read more
Customers find the memoir emotional. They say it takes readers on an emotional journey, providing hope and a positive message. Readers describe the writing as honest and inspiring, with moments of sorrow, pride, and hope. The authors openly share their experiences of adversity and trauma, and how they overcame these challenges.
"...There are moments that make your stomach turn, or make your heart heavy, and yet also moments of happiness for them both as they reach a better place..." Read more
"...I cried more times than I can count while reading this. There were tears of sorrow, tears of pride, and tears of hope...." Read more
"...These two are so incredible and doing the hard work to stop the cycle of trauma. Well worth the time and money to read." Read more
"...Their raw story will bring you to your knees or flood your face with tears...." Read more
Customers find the book inspiring. They appreciate the account of love and resilience despite unimaginable childhoods. The partnership models resilience, unconditional love, and commitment. It gives an intimate and vulnerable feel.
"...instead of having a third person narrate gives an intimate and vulnerable feel...." Read more
"Great book about hope and resilience! These two are so incredible and doing the hard work to stop the cycle of trauma...." Read more
"...Alexis and Justin affirm that these experiences can be used to form resiliency, determination, health, hope in a new legacy...." Read more
"...Moreover, they also found the courage, the determination, and the voice to share their stories with others in this honest, exceptionally well-written..." Read more
Customers find the book authentic and honest. They describe it as an apt description of Alexis and Justin's lives.
"...This raw, real and hope-filled book is accessible to anyone who has ever experienced shame, trauma, sexual abuse, and doubted that a broken system..." Read more
"...and the voice to share their stories with others in this honest, exceptionally well-written, engaging, and thought-provoking book...." Read more
"Redefining Normal is such an apt description of Justin and Alexis’ journey which they each eloquently describe...." Read more
"I loved this book as it is as real as it gets. I had the honor of meeting these "kids" and they are amazing...." Read more
Customers find the book provides useful statistics and quotes to support its story. They appreciate the sobering facts about foster care and domestic violence, as well as concrete tactics to redefine a healthy normal. The book provides helpful answers and helps readers find their way forward.
"...It provides oodles of helps, answers and wonderful life altering advice...." Read more
"...affirm that these experiences can be used to form resiliency, determination, health, hope in a new legacy...." Read more
"...Moreover, they also found the courage, the determination, and the voice to share their stories with others in this honest, exceptionally well-written..." Read more
"...They brilliantly weave in statistics related to foster care and domestic violence, grounding their past experiences in the reality that is all too..." Read more
Customers find the book raw and transparent. They appreciate the authors' vulnerability and authenticity in facing challenges.
"...Looking at the cover, you see a beautiful couple that have found love and happiness together...." Read more
"...Through their horrific pain these two beautiful people leaned into God who is now using all things for good. A must read!" Read more
"...They relay their experiences with such realness – a beautiful display of authenticity and vulnerability...." Read more
"...of adversity and trauma, and how they overcame these challenges, were illuminating...." Read more
Customers appreciate the book's authenticity. They find it inspiring and real.
"...This raw, real and hope-filled book is accessible to anyone who has ever experienced shame, trauma, sexual abuse, and doubted that a broken system..." Read more
"I am completely amazed. This book was definitely an eye opener. So raw, and transparent. Reading the book I was so full of different emotions...." Read more
"Alexis and Justin give us a raw, engaging, and powerful look into their lives and how they have pieced together a masterpiece..." Read more
"Powerful, inspirational yet, raw and real. This is probably one of the most unapologetically real books that I have read...." Read more
Reviews with images

Imperative read for foster and adoptive parents
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on November 8, 2020It is stories like this one that make us realize how true it is.
Looking at the cover, you see a beautiful couple that have found love and happiness together. To echo Justin (one of the authors): you wouldn’t know what they’ve been through just by looking.
Alexis and Justin Black dive deep into their painful and traumatic pasts to bring what they have learned as foster kids - about themselves and life - to the light. How they want to, and have changed to bring them to where they are today, and for us, the readers, to gain knowledge from their experiences that could help us in our own lives, regardless of whether we are foster kids ourselves or not.
This book also gives light to the lives of foster children. It makes you realize there are many circumstances that can lead to becoming a foster child, and how much negative outlook there is for them. This book is going to help change that; this book gives hope and confidence.
I commend Alexis and Justin for being openly raw about their experiences; experiences that can never be easily shared, nor presented in a “pleasant” way.
This book is a must-read.
The organization of the sections, and the switching between individual perspectives of the authors instead of having a third person narrate gives an intimate and vulnerable feel. There are moments that make your stomach turn, or make your heart heavy, and yet also moments of happiness for them both as they reach a better place. From learning stats about foster children, and seeing the examples from how both Alexis and Justin fit and yet also defy those stats in their achievements, there is so much to learn.
It also makes you reflect on how you grew up, and what examples were given to you, about love and many other aspects of life. You think about what was healthy and what was not, and how you can change that in yourself.
I also like how they included verses from the Bible that combat negative stats about foster kids. God loves everyone, no matter who you are or what you’ve been through.
The forewords by Marcy Pusey and Rob Scheer were both beautiful, and provides some insight from a foster parent and a former foster kid who became a foster parent themselves. Thank you Marcy and Rob for sharing your thoughts and your experiences as well.
It was definitely God’s work in that Marcy and Alexis and Justin were able to connect and bring this book into the world.
As others are saying, this is a much-needed book in today’s world, where voices from places hardly thought of need more light. I look forward to finishing the book!
Thank you Alexis and Justin for sharing your stories, being open, and for helping bring hope to your readers! May God bless you both with lots of happiness, good health, and success!
- Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2021The book came in perfect condition but I included this tattered picture of it because I wanted to show how I was so captivated by it, I took it nearly everywhere with me so I could read whenever I got a minute or two here and there, resulting in a more seasoned look.
I cried more times than I can count while reading this. There were tears of sorrow, tears of pride, and tears of hope. I saw so much hope for my two (adopted) sons who are continually clawing their way through the emotional valleys of residual trauma. I see adult versions of my boys in both Alexis and Justin throughout the book by how hard my boys have worked to overcome all they’ve been through while still trying to figure out how to navigate first family relationships (and even a previous foster placement).
This book helped me more thoroughly think about how to be a better mom to my boys and be more mindful about how I say things, when I say things, and how they are received. It also helped me feel like I had permission to acknowledge my own past toxic relationships and relieve myself of guilt for enforcing boundaries (even when I perceive others as judging me for doing so). Though I have a strong marriage, it also helped me identify some opportunities for growth as a wife, too.
If you work with kids who have experienced trauma, this is a must read. If you work with any other humans, this is a must read. You can never tell by looking at someone what they have been through. Like they say towards the end of the book, “Imagine if we looked like what we’ve been through.” A little compassion for everyone around us would make this world a much better place. This book is a great motivator to treat others a little bit better than we’ve done before.
5.0 out of 5 starsThe book came in perfect condition but I included this tattered picture of it because I wanted to show how I was so captivated by it, I took it nearly everywhere with me so I could read whenever I got a minute or two here and there, resulting in a more seasoned look.Imperative read for foster and adoptive parents
Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2021
I cried more times than I can count while reading this. There were tears of sorrow, tears of pride, and tears of hope. I saw so much hope for my two (adopted) sons who are continually clawing their way through the emotional valleys of residual trauma. I see adult versions of my boys in both Alexis and Justin throughout the book by how hard my boys have worked to overcome all they’ve been through while still trying to figure out how to navigate first family relationships (and even a previous foster placement).
This book helped me more thoroughly think about how to be a better mom to my boys and be more mindful about how I say things, when I say things, and how they are received. It also helped me feel like I had permission to acknowledge my own past toxic relationships and relieve myself of guilt for enforcing boundaries (even when I perceive others as judging me for doing so). Though I have a strong marriage, it also helped me identify some opportunities for growth as a wife, too.
If you work with kids who have experienced trauma, this is a must read. If you work with any other humans, this is a must read. You can never tell by looking at someone what they have been through. Like they say towards the end of the book, “Imagine if we looked like what we’ve been through.” A little compassion for everyone around us would make this world a much better place. This book is a great motivator to treat others a little bit better than we’ve done before.
Images in this review
- Reviewed in the United States on July 9, 2024Great book about hope and resilience! These two are so incredible and doing the hard work to stop the cycle of trauma. Well worth the time and money to read.
- Reviewed in the United States on June 18, 2023These two are living, breathing miracles! Their raw story will bring you to your knees or flood your face with tears. It’s a much needed sharing of true events that happens to thousands of other children across the world but not enough people speak it out. Their bravery is to be applauded. Thank you -redefined normal doesn’t leave a person hopeless. It provides oodles of helps, answers and wonderful life altering advice. Through their horrific pain these two beautiful people leaned into God who is now using all things for good. A must read!
- Reviewed in the United States on November 8, 2020When we allow our story to become God's story it changes everything. As a foster and adoptive parent and friend to many who have gone through the "system" and experienced trauma, this book is a must-read. This raw, real and hope-filled book is accessible to anyone who has ever experienced shame, trauma, sexual abuse, and doubted that a broken system or unanswered prayers can be redeemed. Alexis and Justin affirm that these experiences can be used to form resiliency, determination, health, hope in a new legacy.
You do not need to be a social worker, foster youth, caseworker or mental health professional to understand the impact or identify with the narrative of this book.
4.0 out of 5 starsWhen we allow our story to become God's story it changes everything. As a foster and adoptive parent and friend to many who have gone through the "system" and experienced trauma, this book is a must-read. This raw, real and hope-filled book is accessible to anyone who has ever experienced shame, trauma, sexual abuse, and doubted that a broken system or unanswered prayers can be redeemed. Alexis and Justin affirm that these experiences can be used to form resiliency, determination, health, hope in a new legacy.When our story becomes God's story.
Reviewed in the United States on November 8, 2020
You do not need to be a social worker, foster youth, caseworker or mental health professional to understand the impact or identify with the narrative of this book.
Images in this review
- Reviewed in the United States on May 31, 2024This book is extremely well-written. I could not put it down and finished it less than a day after receiving it. The authors openly share their many traumatic experiences while still showing a way for hope and success. Everyone who cares about children, equity, justice, and more should read this book.
Top reviews from other countries
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Gabriele OsimaniReviewed in Germany on May 10, 2023
5.0 out of 5 stars sehr inspirierend
Ich konnte nicht aufhören dieses Buch zu lesen. Es ist zutiefst beeindruckend, wie es den Autoren gelungen ist die traumatischen Erlebnisse ihrer Kindheit und Jugend hinter sich zu lassen und mit Gottes Hilfe heil und frei zu werden. Indem sie Andere an ihrem Weg teilhaben lassen werden sie zu einer Quelle von Hoffnung und Inspiration für alle, die wie sie Überlebende von unvorstellbar grausamen Missbrauch sind. Ein sehr wichtiges Buch, das vielen Menschen helfen wird. Ich empfehle es als Lektüre für alle Pflege- und Adoptiveltern.
- LoriMReviewed in Canada on November 13, 2020
3.0 out of 5 stars Wishing These Two Well but Book Difficult to Read
I think these two have truly a lot to be proud of, and I really and truly wish them all the success and happiness in the world. But as far as being a readable book, I can’t say I really felt it was for me. It wasn’t because of the details of their multiple traumas which were terrible. I just felt the accounts of their lives were all over the place and sometimes repetitious and it made me impatient. I found myself skimming through a lot of it. I guess I prefer biographical and autobiographical books to be have a more linear trajectory. I think their life stories are worth knowing about, but I just didn’t care for the format in which they presented their stories.