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The Compassion Code: How To Say the Right Thing When the Wrong Thing Happens Kindle Edition

4.7 out of 5 stars 125 ratings

What if you knew that compassion was the antidote to healing our hurt, hate-filled world? Would you know how to use it in every circumstance, with family, friends, and strangers alike? Would you be open to doing so, even when it involved acts that may seem unforgivable? Would you be willing to be gentle and sympathetic with yourself?

If you’re like many people, your heart desires to be compassionate, yet your head may simply not possess the blueprint for saying those right words at the right time, or for seeing things from a compassionate perspective rather than a judgmental one. After all, we’re a product of our upbringing and societal norms, and we’re not necessarily taught precisely what living compassionately looks like.

The Compassion Code will completely change that. After losing her mother in a tragic accident, author Laura Jack was devastated. Yet it was also a time of witnessing how people responded to her, how her family grieved differently, and how she responded herself. She went on to become a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, but beyond that, she became a keen observer of how people were missing a huge opportunity to operate with more compassion. This accessible, wisdom-filled book is the result, addressing topics such as:

• Knowing what to say—and not to say—when someone is grieving
• Understanding when to talk and when to simply listen
• Relating kindly to ourselves
• Recognizing that everyone has a story
• Dealing with compassion fatigue
• Acknowledging instead of “fixing” others with our responses
• Practicing compassion in daily life with self, other adults, children, and teens

Far from being preachy or disparaging, The Compassion Code awakens the kindheartedness that resides in all of us, urging it to stand strong as we navigate life events that can cause pain, misunderstandings, fear, hatred, and even war. With heartfelt, relatable stories, compassion coaching tips, and abundant loving action steps, the book is an invaluable guide for how to shift our mindset, diminish hurtful viewpoints, and embrace the humanity in each of us.

Editorial Reviews

Review

The Compassion Code serves as a valuable guide to help us navigate difficult emotional events in our own lives, as well as in the lives of others. Laura's practical approach to a difficult subject is not only easy to read, but is also an important resource which I know I will refer to often. Sharon Hymes, MD


As a deeply compassionate, loving, open, and accepting person, Laura is the best person I know to teach people how to be the friends, family members, and compassionate colleagues we all hope we'll be in times of crisis for our loved ones.
The Compassion Code is a how to guide not just on what to say when life goes wrong--but a guide on how to live life itself. I'm proud to have Laura as a friend, and I know this book's impact will be felt around the world. Kaneisha Grayson, Founder of The Art of Applying and Author of Be Your Own Boyfriend


If you read, internalize, and live by the principles and practices Laura so beautifully gifts us in
The Compassion Code, your relationships with others--and with yourself--will improve dramatically and you will see benefits beyond what you could have imagined. I will use this readable, enjoyable and relatable resource often in my personal and professional life and I would recommend it to anyone would could use a little more compassion in his or her life. That being all of us, I would recommend it to everyone.
Mor Regev, LMSW

Truly one of the most beautiful books I have ever read. And one of the most world changing. How many wars could have been avoided if we all just had the skill of knowing what to say when emotions run high and fear, grief and anger are in the room. Laura Jack weaves a simple and elegant framework for creating amazing possibility in the midst of massive breakdown.
Teresa de Grosbois #1 Bestselling author of Mass Influence

Reading The Compassion Code is like talking to a wise best friend who can guide you through so many aspects of life, especially those dark or confusing times. Thanks to Laura, I've banned the phrase "I'm fine," in my life and have so many more tools for connecting with the people I love.
Suzanne Boothby, author of The After Cancer Diet

About the Author

Laura Jack teaches compassionate communication and how we can relate to one another more effectively during the challenging moments in life. Using practices of self-care and self-love, she helps people rediscover their light after loss. Laura's mission is to cultivate a culture of compassion, starting with self, and to create a better understanding of loss and its accompanying grief. If you want to learn more, visit www.laurajack.com and join the Army of Compassion at https: //www.facebook.com/groups/thearmyofcompassion/ to build bridges of compassion and understanding.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0744LR9Q7
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Kat Biggie Press
  • Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ July 20, 2017
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1.4 MB
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 208 pages
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 out of 5 stars 125 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
125 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers praise the book's approach to compassion, explaining what it is and isn't, and mastering the art of compassionate communication. The book receives positive feedback for its readability, with customers describing it as an expertly written guide that's perfect for anyone and everyone in their life.

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35 customers mention "Compassion"35 positive0 negative

Customers praise the book's approach to compassion, appreciating how it explains what compassion is and isn't, and helps readers master the art of compassionate communication. One customer notes it provides valuable perspective on life and relationships, while another mentions it teaches how to approach difficult situations with curiosity and empathy.

"This is a well-balanced, well-written, and thoughtful guide to expressing compassion for ourselves and for others who are suffering from losses of..." Read more

"Things happen in life - some good and some bad. This book gives us tools to understand and more importantly how to say things or not say something..." Read more

"...The author shares a great mix of personal anecdotes, sample scenarios, and practice exercises that cause the reader to reflect upon their own..." Read more

"...Like a manual for life and how to treat people and perhaps even, why they treat you a particular way, and how to deal with them...." Read more

28 customers mention "Readability"28 positive0 negative

Customers find the book highly readable and well-written, with one customer noting it serves as a primer for people.

"This is a well-balanced, well-written, and thoughtful guide to expressing compassion for ourselves and for others who are suffering from losses of..." Read more

"...I highly recommend this book and if fact have given it as gifts - not because the person needed compassion, but to give them tools to handle what..." Read more

"This book was written as a primer for people who have positions that place them in real life situations almost every day...." Read more

"Such a great book for anyone interested in opening their hearts and living a life filled with more positivity...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on August 13, 2017
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    This is a well-balanced, well-written, and thoughtful guide to expressing compassion for ourselves and for others who are suffering from losses of any kind. As Laura points out, many of us are often at a loss for what to say when others lose a loved one to death, lose a job, experience a break up, or any number of other situations in which it seems nearly impossible to find the appropriate language to show empathy. In her book, she clearly guides the reader through a variety of situations and different ways to respond. Instead of prescribing specific words, she focuses on working through and carefully considering one's reactions and feelings as they pertain to the person suffering. Whether you are a counselor or therapist, priest or rabbi, teacher or coach, or simply someone who would like to be more supportive of a family member or friend in need of compassion, this book will prove to be both valuable and comforting.
    3 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on December 29, 2017
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    Things happen in life - some good and some bad. This book gives us tools to understand and more importantly how to say things or not say something that show compassion. Laura Jack has written a great guideline book explaining what compassion is and why being compassionate is important. Recently while standing in the deli line at my local grocery store, a woman started a conversation with how hard it is to decide what to serve for the holiday. She mentioned that her husband was ill and it would probably be his last Christmas. I just listened as she needed to talk. I felt that I had put on my Compassion Hat as Laura suggests. I highly recommend this book and if fact have given it as gifts - not because the person needed compassion, but to give them tools to handle what life brings to them.
  • Reviewed in the United States on May 17, 2023
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    This book was written as a primer for people who have positions that place them in real life situations almost every day. Helped me deal with clients in my business (Cremation Services) who need to know they have support and understanding during their difficult struggles with grief.
  • Reviewed in the United States on August 15, 2017
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    Such a great book for anyone interested in opening their hearts and living a life filled with more positivity. The lessons contained in this book span many topics, such as the way we deal with our complex emotions in the age of social media (one take-away I appreciated was to be inspired by, rather than jealous of, others' success), communicating with your significant other, or being supportive of a friend that is grieving a loss. The author shares a great mix of personal anecdotes, sample scenarios, and practice exercises that cause the reader to reflect upon their own experiences and think about how they might utilize the tools in this book to approach various situations in life. I think anyone who reads this book will walk away a better person in some way- I would highly recommend it!
    3 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on January 6, 2018
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    This book is like the answer to all of your questions- even the ones you didn't know you had. Makes the struggles of being an adult make so much sense. Like a manual for life and how to treat people and perhaps even, why they treat you a particular way, and how to deal with them. There are not enough wonderful things that I can say about this book. The perfect read for anyone and everyone in your life. Don't just buy one because if you're getting one for yourself, you're going to want to share with your friends and vice versa!
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 20, 2017
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    The Compassion Code should be required reading for everyone! Not only is it an easy-to-follow guide for learning how to have compassion for others, it's a blueprint for learning how to treat ourselves with more kindness and compassion. The book is filled with relatable stories and examples of compassion in action, along with numerous tips, tools and ideas that will help anyone looking to strengthen their compassion muscle. Thank you Laura Jack for creating a guide I can refer to again and again when trying to come up with the right words to help people through difficult times!
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on December 27, 2017
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    You can learn to practice compassionate communication with family, friends, and complete strangers. Never Never again be at a loss for words and action to help those in emotional distress. Laura Jack gives you the right thing to say to grievers of all types of loss. If nothing else, read this book to know what to say in person and on social media to revelations of suffering. Beautifully written and easy to read practical wisdom wrapped in sound psychological principles. I will recommend to clients and refer to it again and again
  • Reviewed in the United States on August 10, 2017
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    As a doctor, this book really struck a cord with me. Laura taps into something not often discussed - that many of us need to exercise compassion on a daily basis and can really contribute to the healing of those around us. I think the message is important for anyone who interacts with people on a daily basis or anyone who feels they struggle with what to say in difficult situations. The book is smart and easy to read, and really offers a look at the author's profound knowledge of how to connect with people in more meaningful ways.
    One person found this helpful
    Report

Top reviews from other countries

  • Ginny smith
    5.0 out of 5 stars This book has changed my life
    Reviewed in Canada on April 12, 2023
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    I initially bought this book to learn how to preserve my energy while supporting others - after being drained and crashing and having to isolate to recharge. Little did I know that in order to relate and support others in a healthy way I needed to first be able to do so for myself and internal systems. Since implementing self compassion I am more at peace and trusting of myself, in tune with my feelings and actually have the ability communication of myself and govern my internal diagolgue. This ability to communicate and relate to myself in a healthy way has opened me to connecting with others in a way I never thought possible. If you are someone that’s even mildly hard on yourself like me, it might be a life changing issue if rectified. This book I will reference forever as a pivotal tool in my healing journey.
  • musicmusic
    5.0 out of 5 stars Ground Breaking And Insightful A Must For All
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 8, 2017
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    Though everyone of us have suffered difficult times in our lives when it comes to assisting others we seem to get blocked Laura has such an incredible gift to speak about the harder things in life and be able to show others the real meaning of compassion and how we can apply it
    to be the best versions of ourselves for family and friends.
  • Lisa Mackay
    5.0 out of 5 stars beautiful and enlightening
    Reviewed in Canada on March 23, 2022
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    I love this book and adore Laura Jack. This is a must read and even a must read twice. Thanks Laura for putting so much of your heart into this book.
  • Kathrine
    5.0 out of 5 stars Laura's book not only focuses on how to better practice compassion towards others but really goes through the ...
    Reviewed in Canada on August 11, 2017
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    The compassion code is an important, thoughtful guide for anyone that wants to understand and integrate more compassion into their life. Laura's book not only focuses on how to better practice compassion towards others but really goes through the foundation of practicing compassion with yourself. As a professional that works with people in crisis, this book was a great reminder that practicing compassion is just that, something we need to practice with intention. This book is an easy read and takes you through many different exercises that can make reading the book more than just a read... the exercises help you reflect upon your own story, do a personal emotional inventory and has practical tools to help you learn to practice compassion in all areas of your life.
  • Teresa De Grosbois
    5.0 out of 5 stars Laura Jack weave a simple and elegant framework for creating amazing possibility in the midst of massive breakdown
    Reviewed in Canada on July 27, 2017
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    How many wars could have been avoided if we all just had the skill of knowing what to say when emotions run high and fear, grief and anger are in the room. Laura Jack weave a simple and elegant framework for creating amazing possibility in the midst of massive breakdown.

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