Tom Irregardless and Me

‘As my old pappy used to say…’ Bret Maverick began, but Pappy had had it:

‘I never used to say any of those things! You’ve been misquoting me all your life!’

‘Well, you said so many dumb things it was hard to keep track!’

As we near the end of our book, we can take comfort that we have not done that. We have said no dumb things. Every word has been pure gold, save for occasional bits of hogwash that can be chalked up to human imperfection.

If we have poked some fun at Tom Irregardless, Oscar Oxgoad, and Tom Pearlsnswine, it is to establish the greater picture that God uses people like them to accomplish feats their higher-ups, though they have far more education, can only dream of. There’s not much that God can do with independent-minded people, and proud ones stop him dead in his tracks. With humble ones, conscious of their spiritual need, he can do a lot. With the others, it is like herding cats.

‘We don’t want herding, anyway; it’s demeaning!’ they object. ‘We are autonomous adults!’

Yes…okay, but the world you’ve collectively built strongly suggests some godly herding might not be such a bad thing.

What do Jehovah’s Witnesses have against college? Why is their average income the lowest of all faiths? What is their policy regarding child sexual abuse ? Where are they with homophobia? Were the New World Translation writers qualified? Tom Irregardless and Me takes on these questions, and more.

Chapter 1 – Prince

Chapter 2 – Sam Herd

Chapter 3 – Tom Irregardless

Chapter 4 – The Regional Convention

Chapter 5 – Enemies

Chapter 6 – Suffering

Chapter 7 – The God of Football

Chapter 8 – Plato

Chapter 9 – Pipe Dreams

Chapter 10 – Blogging

Chapter 11 – The Pew Report

Chapter 12 – John Wheatnweeds

Chapter 13 – Joel Engardio

Chapter 14 - Joe Paterno

Chapter 15 – Dr. Mike ‘Ace’ Inhibitor

Chapter 16 – The New World Translation

Chapter 17 – Me

Chapter 18 – Sam Herd

Afterword – Black Mack, Slow Joe and Davey the Kid

Tom Irregardless and Me is part fiction but mostly fact, loaded with historical vignettes. It is part auto-biographical. It is part zany humor – c’mon! how can you not find humor with a guy named Irregardless?

I’d like to say it is biblical – it is biblical, except that word has been hijacked by those with very different viewpoints and track records - just like ‘gay’ was long ago hijacked, and those who used to speak of ‘gay Paree’ can no longer do so.

So call it philosophical if you must: it portrays a complete way of life – with no strings untied and no puzzle pieces left over – based upon living all aspects of life by Bible principles. Starting with Prince, Tom Irregardless and Me is a fierce and frolicking defense of Jehovah’s Witnesses and their place in today’s world. A riotous romp through the way of life they represent.

The very gods do battle in Tom Irregardless and Me: the god of education, the god of qualifications, the god of multi-tasking, the god of football, the god of the adversarial judicial system, the god of the sex offender registry, the god of scientific rigor, the god of blood transfusions. Take cover while they thrash it out!

All persons with names like Irregardless are real, though generally composite. You can meet them in my circuit or even yours. Events related are faithfully depicted except for a few that I’ve made up. Persons with names recognizable from history or current events – you’re nuts! – it’s not those people at all!