How will tracking down the Queen of Tonga help Simon and Fiona save their long-distance relationship? A fun, true-life South Pacific island adventure.

When Simon and Fiona flee England and embark on a quest to find the Queen of Tonga, they have no idea they’ll be marooned on a desert island, encounter an undiscovered tribe, learn jungle survival from a commando, and attend cultural ceremonies few Westerners have seen.
Will they ever find the elusive Queen, or will they be distracted by insomniac chickens, grunting wild piglets, and the easy-going Tongan lifestyle?

Praise for The Coconut Wireless

“A laugh-out-loud spirit brightener and a darn good read. I give it five out of five stars” – Kathy K

“lickety-split dialogue and superb descriptions.” – Beth H

“A story of romance and youthful travel. Recommended feelgood reading.” – Val P.

“Easygoing narrative that kept me interested from beginning to end. I can't wait to read more” – Pamela N

When English city boy Simon follows his girlfriend across the world to her family farm in remotest New Zealand, he has no idea he’ll be force-fed a meal of beetle larva, get pushed off the road by half a house, and be inspected by indignant penguins and flattened by a giant leaf-blower.

As he poisons the milk, dive-bombs the bulls, and loses the herd of cows in a river, will he ever learn to be a farmer, or will he have to stop impersonating a country boy, and return to London?

When London boy Simon dreams of becoming a New Zealand rock star, he has no idea he'll duet with a suspected murderer, model for posters with a dairy cow, accidentally present the weather on the radio and be upstaged by an apple crumble.

As he struggles to impersonate Elvis, forgets the most important birthday song and scares away a hen party, will he ever realise his rock star ambitions, or will he have to pack away his guitar and abandon his dreams forever?

When Simon embarks on an around-the-world quest to find the perfect engagement ring, he has no idea he’ll re-enact a celebrity double murder, check into a Chinese torture facility, star as James Bond in an underwater movie and take part in an opium den toilet-paper hunt.

As he fights off Cantonese Pavarottis, Chihuahua-brandishing socialites, dodgy diamond dealers and hen-pecked secret agents, will he ever persuade his girlfriend to accept his proposal, or will he have to abandon his plans and remain a bachelor forever?